Sunday, May 13, 2012

Wisdom Seeking

Today is Mother’s Day.  I like days like this. 

I know some people think these days that celebrate moms, or sweethearts, or whoever were just invented by card companies wanting to make money.  But I have seen such great reflection from people – on facebook, or at family cookouts, or at church – about how much they love their moms.  I think it’s fabulous.
And for those of us that ARE moms… It is an opportunity to really consider the meat of this job.  I mean, what the heck are we doing here? In THIS job?  I am SO NOT QUALIFIED for this.  ;)

On the other hand – I love it.  I love these little people that live here and crack me up and say the smartest things I’ve ever heard.  I love these crazy kids with their silliness – that would not be funny in any other circumstance – and their shenanigans, and their awesome dad.  I love how excited they get about getting me something for Mother’s Day and the SURPRISE! when I walk in the room and they have their priceless handmade gifts all ready for me in the middle of the room.

And I love everything I learn from them.  Not that it’s always fun to learn it.  But they teach me a lot.  Just being a mom, reveals so many truths about life.  I want the best for them.  I want to be exactly what they need.  I want to be the perfect mom.

Sounds kindof nuts, doesn’t it?

But, if you’re a mom, deep down somedays isn’t there a part of you that is striving for that? 

If you’re like me, there is a part of me every day that wants that.  And I know it’s impossible.  And I know I’m not perfect.  But I still have stupid-high expectations for myself.  And frankly, often for my kids. 
It can get ridiculous.  I can get unrealistic and disappointed in myself pretty fast.

This is part of the root of my blog.  My entire life, journaling has been part of my solution.  When I feel disappointed in myself or a situation or a person, writing things out always helps me see things more clearly.  When I realized as a mom that there is this community of women out there who feel the same way I do, I wanted to share my experiences... so maybe we could all feel a little better about ourselves. 

But then when I got started I saw that not only can we find comfort in community, but we can encourage and build each other up.  We are all learning hard lessons everyday as a parent, or a spouse, or a teacher, or an accountant, or whatever.  What if we were honest about these lessons?  What if we looked a little closer to how these life lessons line up with what God wants for us?

What if we seek wisdom?

We are all a work in progress.  This was very apparent as we started building our home… board by board, hour by hour.  A little here, a little there.  It was a process that was painful and time consuming and slower than we wanted it to be.  Much like working through our sin and confusion and questions about living. 

But when we had a house to live in… built by tired, blistered hands, and love and help from our family and neighbors.. then we really had something.  Something to show for all our hard work and tears. 

I want my life to be like that too.  I’m a work in progress.  And by the grace of God, I’ll have something to show for it.

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