Saturday, May 29, 2010

Anticipating Parenthood

I distinctly remember being an emotional wreck when my brother Bradley graduated from high school. Three years apart, I’d had my opportunity to find out about life-after-Cissna, and it had been a bumpy ride. I remember being especially sad about the hard lessons he would have to learn on his own, the pain they would evoke, and the scary process of watching someone pick themselves up and move on. I wanted to just take it all away, somehow spare him the angst that we all have to live thru. But I was quite aware of how out-of-my-hands his future was.

Exactly 11 years later, his life is about to change in a very different way. Baby Boy Hofbauer will be born quite soon, and all those years of life lessons will be utilized to help raise-up a child. I’m sure I’ll be an emotional wreck again, but this time I am eager to watch him go on the exhilarating and bumpy ride of parenthood. I can’t wait to see him experience the ups and downs, the lessons, the Moments of having a child – a child who reflects the commitment and love of 2 amazing people, who is all theirs, and a Responsibility none of us can really wrap our minds around.

Parenthood should be much scarier than graduating from high school. And for some people, it is. But for most of us, I think that that Fear is quickly overcome by the Miracles, the Fascination, and the Beauty of another life in our arms. Yes, Fear still waits in our hearts, creeping up in moments of uncertainty. But Awe and Inspiration stand tall and overbearing, shoving pictures into stranger’s laps, and extending our exhausted bodies beyond what should be humanly possible. Priorities shift and a new category of Love is born into our inadequate little hearts, and suddenly so much more about life makes sense.

I wish I could be there to hold my new nephew when he is only days old. And I wish I could witness the look on my brother’s face when Bradley rocks his baby boy to sleep or comforts his cries. But either way, knowing he gets to experience these moments is remarkable. Let the emotions roll – this ride is a welcome one.

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