Thursday, January 27, 2011

Full-Time Praises

Last night Brad and I decided I won't go back to subbing this semester. And this is kindof a big deal.

For the past year or 2 I've been available as a substitute teacher. I enjoyed it and the money was helpful. It wasn’t all the time or anything, but it was good. However, since Edwin’s arrival the logistics of such a thing have been in question. How do we get Sophie to school? Or home? Is the money worth it after paying for child care? Is there enough to do managing our home? But, the money would be SO helpful.

But my heart has not been in it. I mean, these days I’m daydreaming about making my own baby food, finding ways to save money on household needs, and nursing my baby for as long as my body will allow. I need to put some real time into my new Pampered Chef business and work on new house decisions. Certainly these are things that can be done with an outside job, but 3 kids complicates time management. (Something I’m not awesome at to begin with. Let’s be honest.)

When we ran the logistics we both felt that subbing is not in the cards right now. And when that decision was made, my soul took a deep breath and felt a weight lift. Being able to really devote myself to staying home fulltime right now.. taking care of my kids and my home.. it’s something I never imagined would be real. But it is. By the grace of God only, it is. It isn’t because I worked hard.. it isn’t because I earned it.. it isn’t because God loves me more. It’s because it is His will right now for our family. It’s because He has a plan to use me, here, right now. And I am so thankful.

Today on my way to pick up my sick preschooler from school, I was thankful. Oh, Lord, thank you so much for making this easy. I don’t have to rearrange a work schedule, I don’t have to worry about the stress of leaving my job – I am at my job. As I carried my feverish baby girl out of school, I was sad for her. But I was happy for me.

And again this afternoon, sitting with my school age girl, folding clothes and doing homework – I am thankful. Edwin close by, Your Love is Strong by Jon Foreman playing in the background... Sophie and I singing together – I am overwhelmed with joy. Here are some of the lyrics in case you aren’t familiar…

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

And I continue to be amazed.

I thought about not sharing my good fortune. I don’t want people to be annoyed with my happiness. But, I need to praise the Lord and I can’t believe that I should keep this quiet! Hopefully it won’t discourage, but uplift and encourage others. If I can brag about my Jesus, I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m suppose to do. His Love Is Strong, and it’s what we all need to be holding onto.


  1. LOVE.... That's all I have to say! That and I hope Clare feels better soon! Dane is on day 4... I don't think I have ever had a kid miss an entire week of school before! Crazy!

  2. I'm so glad you blogged about this! You sounded so happy when you called to tell me yesterday, that I actually told Norvin about the conversation. I think he is happy for you too!


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