Risk and Rejection

One of the things that comes with my oldest-child-syndrome, is my hesitancy to take risks. I’m not big on rejection, and so it turns out, I have a tendency to just avoid things that might end that way. I’m not a big fan of failure.

So I usually don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.

J

But I’d like to change this... and take more risks. A lot of things qualify as “taking a risk" for me, but for most of them the common denominator is 1) putting energy into something and 2) the likelihood/possibility that it won’t turn out the way I want it to.

Yep, that pretty much sums up a big aspect of my decision making. Huh. I’ve never seen it in writing before. It’s kindof ridiculous.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how it goes.

***

Well, I wrote that the other night, but before I could get it posted, my first Risk was before me. I’m not going to go into much detail about it because it really wasn’t a huge deal and if I give details you might make it a bigger deal (or I might). In any case, it didn’t go that great. I knew that I was putting energy into something that might not really end up the way I wanted. But I saw an opportunity to work on a relationship that isn’t always so great. But I thought maybe trying to get involved might end up making us closer. And that would be nice.

Yeah, it doesn’t look like that is going to be the result. So far, I’m feeling a little rejection. Which I expected. Which is why it was a risk. J

So I’ve decided that if I’m going to be doing this kind of thing this year, I need a contingency plan for when things don’t go so great. I’d like to learn something from this little resolution of mine.

So here’s the deal. Each time I take a risk, I need to come back and evaluate what I gained from this experience. Here are some from my first official act:

1. I was trying to help... and that felt good. When we serve others we aren’t suppose to expect anything back (right?). So I served in a small way, put in some time, and it was a good deed.

2. It was a good exercise for me in self-control. This particular event required me to censor my words/opinions to a large degree. Something I continually need to work on. (Been working on it for at least 12 years for those of you keeping track. ;)

3. I learned something nice about this person. It will help in the long run.

4. I immediately recognized that this risk-taking thing is going to require an optimistic attitude, and a pick-up-the-pieces-and-move-on game plan.

Thanks. Now I feel better.

On with the show…