I Can Relate

I sat down at the computer to write the sentence “Motherhood is often a lonely job.”

Before I could do so, two children were climbing on me, putting chapstick on my lips (whether I wanted some or not), one asking to sit with me, and one leaning on me after bumping her head on the table she approached which has the computer on it.

Sigh. Deep breath. After taking smaller girl to the bathroom, I’m back reflecting on my original sentence. Well, still not very lonely – she is on my lap of course.

But I still maintain that while we can be surrounded by children, this can be a lonely job.

In the middle of the night feeding a hungry baby. In the middle of a store comforting an injured, screaming toddler. In the middle of the morning rush – the only one who seems to understand what time school starts.

It can feel kindof lonely.

I have a wonderful husband. But let’s face it – most parenting decisions he defers to me. We work together and talk thru bedtimes and attitudes about school and homework. But I end up being the last word on some pretty big decisions like potty training, when to start solid foods, and whether they need to see a doctor. Not to mention I’m in charge of what we eat (taking into account everyone’s likes and dislikes of course), how much it costs, and having it ready. When I look at a living room full of clothes that need to be folded and put away, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed since the clothes won’t be folding themselves.

This is why I cried all day when I first went to the National Hearts-at-Home Conference back when Sophie was born. Being in a convention hall full of women who shared the same decisions, the same heartaches, the same insecurities…was a new discovery for me.

It’s why I make Mom’s Bible Study a priority – I need that community. It’s why I am SO thankful for my fellow mom-friends and phone calls where we can laugh and cry about our parenting dilemmas. It’s why I attempt to reach out to new moms with comforting words and zero judgment. It’s why I write.

It’s why I’m so thankful that every day is a new day. That I have a forgiving God with whom I can plead with as often as I need to. That He is always listening. And always loving.

This job can be lonely. Covered in children, surrounded by things – when I feel alone it’s my job to do something about it. Prayer, a phone call, a frank discussion with my partner – or just a nice conversation about the latest family milestone. Because loneliness is not going to fix itself. As moms, we can’t wait for civilization or a friendly conversation to come to us. We have to seek it out. For the sake of our mental health and our brains. Even if it’s turning on a mom talk show, or joining in an online conversation - be a part of a mom community. You’re not alone. I can relate. Someone can always relate. J

p.s. If you haven’t registered for Hearts-at-Home yet this year, or want to learn more about it, click on this link. A day led by Jill Savage will do wonders for your Mommy-Brain.