When Your Dreams and Your Reality Are Staring Each Other Down

Last week Hearts at Home inspired me to write about giving yourself permission to dream. But today we need to pause for a moment and think a little about how this fits into where God has us now....

Planning.  Plotting.  Preparing.  These are a few of my favorite things.  I’m way better at coming up with an idea than I am at following through on it.  So I have a few. 

And some of these ideas have turned into big dreams and goals and there are moments in the past handful of years where I am so ready to put 1,000% into making these goals a real part of everyday. 

Then what happens?

Well, a whole lot of reality, usually.  I joke all the time that if I were independently wealthy, I’d be so much further on my plans.  But I’m not.  So crazy-things like the need for a paycheck sooner than later, tend to crop up as a reason to go to work instead of writing queries for a book deal.  And it’s not just money. One of my kids gets sick and ends up needing a surgical procedure.  How bout a big event at church or my work week doubling in hours due to its seasonal nature?  

Then there are the really huge things.  

Waking up one day to find that if my marriage doesn’t get some life-support ASAP, it’s not going to be around to see the book tour happen.  Dealing with family deaths and stupid diseases that we don’t understand.  Small children who ask if I can read them another story and I can’t say no.

photo credit: Fabio Bruna via photopin cc

Here’s the thing.  I am a huge fan of identifying your passion and running with it.  I know that this requires sacrifices.  No question.  But there are some years where it’s not an excuse.  It’s a really good reason to put family first.  There are some seasons of life where it might be better for you to put the dreams aside, just for a little longer, so you don’t miss something that could make your ministry even stronger.  There is a time and a place for everything.  …..  And being a really intentional parent or friend might need to come first for a time.  

This is not a guilt trip.  Exactly the opposite.  If you are feeling pulled in two different directions, don’t be afraid to let your kids or your husband have the best of you for a while if that’s what your family needs.  Sometimes really taking care of those things is even scarier than pursuing a big dream.  

Trying to fix a marriage or figure out what your kids need is incredibly hard, but making that your big goal for the year can be abundantly more fulfilling than a book tour, or a big speaking engagement.  

In fact, it might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.  

But it might also be the best thing you’ll ever do.

#LetGodShowYouHowToLoveYourFamily 
#BigDreams

#TheMinistryOfBeingASpouse

#TheMinistryOfBeingAParent

Has some hard-headed Reality stepped right in the way of your big dreams? Have you found a way to make peace with that? Share your story to encourage someone else facing the same thing.

Attention Personality Type B

Is it just me, or do we tend to believe (unconsciously maybe) that things should and will just fall into place?  Not to say we don’t worry.  We worry.  But sometimes we hope that, despite our lack of planning or following thru etc, things will work themselves out.  And by “things” I especially mean laundry, dishes, and those papers I was suppose to sign and return to my child’s school.

Funny that I just expect things to work out.  Sounds ridiculous.  But I do!  

There are so many decisions that should be made more consciously than how I usually make them!  I walk around the house too often with my phone in my hand, a texting conversation or two in play, as I bathe the children and attempt to put clothes away.  It’s really not very efficient.

For those of us who tend to be less A and more B personality, being aware of some of the little details takes way more effort than I realized.  I’m a detail person, but I still don’t readily act on the little things that can have such a powerful impact on my big picture.  Things like

• drinking the daily recommended amount of water
• paying bills ON TIME, EVERY MONTH
• keeping the closet organized so my family can find what they are looking for.

Yes, clearly these are very useful, valuable, time-worthy pursuits.

That I just don’t prioritize.

Maybe it’s because I’m thinking more about

• the latest book I want to read
• a “great” idea I have for a blog post/devotion/book
• how I can convince my husband that we need another weekend away.

These are fun things and no one is going to tell me they aren’t useful or valuable.

But they don’t get the laundry done.

Which brings us to this moment.

My son is taking a bath.  He’s got a great imagination and could spend all day in here.  I brought the laundry and my spiral with me into the bathroom to keep an eye on him and still be productive.  

But the clothes still aren’t folded and his face is still dirty (despite all the splashing he’s done).  Glad I squeezed in some time to write and process.  I’m going to make a conscious decision to stop writing and start folding now.  

But I’m also going to make a conscious decision to appreciate my tendencies, even though my house is still a mess.  Surely something good will come of these habits eventually.  Even if it’s just that my kids appreciate a good book.  :)