Because The People You Love Are Not One-Size-Fits-All

Every night when I tuck the girls in, Clare gets a kiss on the lips and Sophie gets a kiss on the forehead. 

If I didn’t go through with this ritual, Clare would probably say something. She has gone out of her way to make sure it happens, so if I avoided it for some reason, I think she would probably call me out on it. If I didn’t go through the ritual with Sophie, I doubt she would say anything. But I can tell she values it as a part of the routine and would miss it if it were gone. 

Different kids need different things. 

Different kids respond differently too. Just because one expresses the way they feel about something, and one does not.. does not mean only one of them has an opinion. 

Sounds sensible, right?

But is it how we are treating the people around us? One size fits all is an easy approach, but I know for a fact it doesn’t work for my kiddos. 

Or my friends. Or my community.

My girls have different preferences in clothing. And food. And television shows. And free time. 

One processes things out loud with wit and clever conversation. 

The other internally considers her options and comes to conclusions without interaction.

One size does NOT fit all when it comes to their clothes or personalities or how they approach conflict. This goes for our neighbors too. It goes for all the people we are commanded to love in our lives. Your spouse. Your son. Your daughter. Best friends. Peers. Co-workers. Even your enemies. 

People are wired different. 

And so we have to approach them with compassion and patience and grace. 

When Clare wants to talk, she sits down and says “Mom, we need to talk.”

When Sophie wants to talk she just sits down in the vicinity… or starts lurking around waiting for whatever seems to be the appropriate time. If I wait for her to say, “Mom, we need to talk,” I might as well forget about it. 

Let’s remember that loving our neighbor means meeting people where they are. And bringing lots of grace and love along, no matter where we meet.

***********REALITY CHECK***************************

Hold up, hold up, hold up, people. Wait, wait.

Let’s be clear about something:

THIS IS REALLY TERRIBLY TOUGH. It’s serious. It’s heavy. Arduous. Toilsome. Burdensome! Backbreaking! I went to the thesaurus and looked up a bunch of words but mostly I just want to say this is SOOO HARD.

This thing where we really consider what others need, instead of just checking them off our to-do list…. it’s like one of the most unselfish things we can do.

Somedays it feels mostly impossible.

We are so prone to the-world-revolves-around-me. We are all about our OWN perspective and how MY way of doing things is… well, IS the best way. (bold) Not only that, but some people make it REALLY REALLY HARD to love them! They are SOOO difficult and cranky and just WEIRD and they don’t make any sense to us. Why do they have to BE that way? I’m so done with them. I’m not even going there.

I know.

I very much know.

When I was thinking about my girls the other day, though… I was thinking about how for them - how I love them so much and even though they are SUCH a challenge some days - I want to personalize my love for them. I want to seek out the best way for each of them so we can find a way to get along and I can maybe start to have a clue when Clare is losing it about how much she can’t stand her brother, and maybe I could head her off at the pass and meet her where she is so we can get that thing back on the road.

And then I got to thinking that I would love to be able to do that with my husband and my close friends and maybe even people I’m not super close with, but with whom I have to interact with regularly.

And that’s when I realized all of this is about love and grace and forgiveness and not looking inside at how I want things to be, but looking outside and figuring out where people are.

That if I care… if I value that relationship… that’s what I’m going to have to do sometimes. Or maybe all the time.

This is really the opposite of what our culture says. 

"If you don’t like this speed, you won’t like my other one.” 

"Accept me as I am, or out to the curb with you.” 

But God says My ways are not your ways. So if you want to keep that relationship around - if you want to cultivate that relationship - if you treasure it - you are going to have to treat it special. You’ll have to put something extra into it. 

Different people have different needs.

When we acknowledge that fact, it can make a difference in a relationship.

May nothing less than the audacity of the Holy Spirit empower us to love our neighbors.

4 Resources for Teaching Our Kids Good Manners

Recently a friend of mine said to me, "Hey, if my kids are demanding or not using their manners, I need to know about it."  She was especially referring to when she's not around.  I quickly joined in.  I like that idea.  If my kids are being demanding and not using polite language when they are out-and-about, I need to know about that.

But it made me think more about whether I'm teaching them those manners at home.  Kids don't just all the sudden know how to say please and thank you. If left to their own devices, they are more likely to demand a cookie, run through the doorway (not holding it open for those behind them), and whine when something doesn't go their way. My kids tend to be decent in public, but I could certainly be more deliberate about teaching them how we interact with the world. All my kids are at an age now where they would benefit from me seriously setting aside some time for this.

Since I'm clearly not an expert in this field, I've gathered up some links and resources.  Here's what I found that I like.

Teaching Manners--It Still Matters: How to Teach Good Manners 
This is a link to an article from the magazine Parenting, in which the author looks at the stages of our kids and talks about what's appropriate and reasonable for them at each age.  She has done her research and has great suggestions. Click on the link and it will take you there. 

How cute is this?  My kids are usually game for a match-it-up.  Even if they groan a little, this will be a great way for us to start this conversation and all get onto the same page.  You can find this printable at Enchanted Yankee.  Go to that link and follow her instructions.  Easy peezy!

This next link is to Teach Mama, where she shares an approach to rewarding kids for catching them in the act.  It's pretty simple and cute and might be just the thing to get your kiddos in the habit of being polite!

Last up I found a printable that was a great reminder for me about all the various social situations I need to prepare my children for.  

To get this printable go to In Between Laundry. Other sites have posted similar ideas, but I can't get those to function properly. In Between Laundry made a printable and is offering it for free.  

There are really tons of suggestions out there, but I think this is a good start.  Again, don't make this harder than it needs to be.  Talk to your kids and find teachable moments.  And don't get frustrated.  They will catch on eventually if you stay consistent and reasonable!  But like most things, if you don't have a plan, it's probably not going to happen. 

Do you have any suggestions for teaching our kids to be polite?

Why Even Free-Spirited Mamas Want A Schedule

As the school year arrives and the cornfield out my window begins to turn, parents near and far can be heard cheering for the return of ROUTINE. Not to say all moms and dads are happy about constantly-in-your-face-family-time being over, but I mean… most of them are.  ;) 

Anyway, regardless of what kind of schooling your kids are getting, if they are over the age of 3 this is the time of year routine tends to take over. And most of us are glad. 

The beauty of routine has always brought me some degree of comfort. As a teacher, I loved the start of the school year. Fresh and clean, stretching out before us, specific expectations and schedules ready to be followed. It gives me structure that my creative/lazy/pinball-resembling-brain does not have on its own. I am not one who defaults to schedules and healthy habits. As much as I love making lists, my follow through is not so great.

As a teacher I learned that children thrive under routine as well. I’m not talking about every-second-of-the-day scheduled routine, or extracurricular practices 4 nights a week. I’m talking about knowing what to expect. Breakfast and dinner around the same time every day (we are terrible at the latter), a consistent plan for right after school, the same place for homework every day. When my kids are allowed to lazy-around all morning in the summer or on a Saturday, we always have more behavioral issues than if they had some kindof schedule to start off their day.  

Even if the schedule is,
"First we are going to eat breakfast and get dressed and then we are going to do puzzles all morning." 

Adults are the same. It’s really hard to get into a routine at home, and every inch of my being resists most attempts, but many aspects of my life are finally learning the beauty of routine.  

Advantage #1: I know where things are.

• When I pull in the garage, my sunglasses and keys go on the dash.
• My meds stay in the cubby in my van because I will see them there. My chapstick too.
• The phone plug-in is next to my bed and usually stays there, so at night I can easily remember to plug in my phone. (Definitely learned that one from my husband. With a brain wired like mine, sometimes these things don’t seem so obvious without being told.)

I have managed to train myself to leave these items in these spots or I would be lost at all times.  (It’s bad enough with the rest of the things I own.)

Advantage #2: My kids know what to expect.

I certainly have a lot of room for improvement, especially on this one.  But I am inspired by how well this works for the routines we HAVE managed to establish.

• Bedtime always includes a story. Eddie gets at least one, maybe 2 books read to him in bed before going to sleep. (Depends on how well-behaved he has been that evening.) The girls lay down and read for at least 15 minutes before lights are off. This has been such a good way for everyone to settle down in our family.  
• On church and school mornings there is no television. I know it works for some families, but for us it is a disaster. So everyone in our family has gotten pretty used to that rule now. If a child is all ready to go and we aren't leaving yet, there might be an opportunity for said child to play an electronic device. But honestly, my girls pretty much take all the time they are given to prepare for their day. #liketheirmom
• When we are guests somewhere, and the visit is wrapping up, I pretty much ALWAYS give a 5 or 10 minute warning. This has served us quite well. I’m not saying they NEVER have meltdowns when it’s time to leave, but it could definitely be worse. (Usually it’s only one out of the 3 kids who struggle with this, so it helps that the other 2 are compliant.)

Advantage #3: The house isn't as messy as it could be.

• When I fill a laundry basket with clothes that I know I’m not folding right now, there is a certain corner of my room that basket goes.  It doesn't sit in my living room (as often as it used to), it goes directly to my room.  The living room doesn't get overrun with laundry then, just toys and books.
• Same with my kitchen, to a degree.  All the dirty dishes go to the left of the sink.  Even if THAT counter is overflowing with dishes, at least the other counters aren't.  PLUS, when it’s time for someone to fill the dishwasher or fold clothes, everything is in one place.  When my kids are looking for clean clothes, they know where to find them.  

Look, fellow freebird-mama, I love a spontaneous day just as much as the next Type B personality. But, I encourage and URGE you to identify just a couple spots in your day that could use some help, and try to weave in a little routine.

[Words of warning: 1) Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Don't try to add routine to every minute of your day. Failure is guaranteed. 2) And don’t expect everyone to “get it” the first time. It takes time.]

Nevertheless, if you set a goal or two for yourself and stick to it, you will eventually see results. You’re going to need to find your sunglasses tomorrow and put your kids to bed and make dinner, whether you've established a routine for those things or not.  So wouldn't it be nice to have a plan when that moment is staring you down?   

What is a simple routine that has saved your sanity? Your everyday-habit might be a game-changer for someone else!

Secretly, It's Your Favorite Thing

She reached for her phone in the dark.  It was because she was looking for a connection. Tired of feeling alone and disconnected in her own house, she sought out like-minds online. She knew she could find someone to relate with, some kindred spirit, if only in a Pinterest meme. 

The power of "community" has been on my mind. I might be late to this party, but I’m learning regardless of which generation or what region of the world is in question - the value of community resonates with all of us. 

My husband is an introvert and I am an extrovert.  My daughter can’t stand the idea of standing up in front of a group of people, all eyes on her, but my son will dance in the spotlight all night long.  Despite the vast differences in the ways we connect or relate to one another, we still seek to be understood and valued by others - even if it’s just a few close friends. 

The older I get, the pickier I am about my community.  Some days I DON’T want to be surrounded by friends or spend all day on the phone.  However, I still want a connection.  I still want to play a role.  I still want to feel like I belong to a larger group. 

It is community that taught me the truth about being a mom.  The truth that I’m not the only one who has really tough days, lonely days, or frustrating days.  The truth that marriage is infinitely harder than we expected.  Or that we all carry far more self-doubt (and other heavy baggage) than we let on.

Community has also taught me good truths like being able to share our fears and dreams with other women who won’t judge.  Good truth like the power of prayer.  Or that we can laugh together about the hard days and then they don’t seem so heavy.

Community taught me these things.  Community holds me together when I’m falling apart.  It’s a secret I discovered and I want to share it with other women in my ministry. 

In fact, I want my ministry to my family to reflect the value of community too!  My #1 ministry is as the mom in a family structure, and almost more than anything I want our little 5 person unit to recognize the value of connection with each other.  Of community with each other.

The icing on the cake for all these relationships is for Jesus to be in the midst of them.  When HE is present with two or more, hearts and lives can be changed.  I get all pumped up just thinking about how I’ve seen Him work thru friendships, marriages, and acquaintances.

And as I ponder all these things, something even bigger hits me like a brick in the head.  God is ALL about community.  His laws, His son, His never-ending promises - they all reflect RELATIONSHIP with Him and with each other. 

Respecting others,

taking time for Him,

sacrifice for your neighbor,

prayer,

forgiveness

…love. 

He set up His church around community.  Our daily spiritual barometer is a reflection of us being in community with Him. 

It all makes sense when we see our desire for community is no accident.  We are made to crave it.  With Him.  With others.  It’s part of us.  And recognizing this can help us better understand our sometimes crazy behavior.  Our pain and our disappointment.  Our desires and our yearnings.  

The take-aways are endless, so I won’t say much more.  Do with this information what you will.  For me realizing the importance of “community” to my God, helps me see His desires for me in a new way, in a bigger way, that reflects the Kingdom more than I ever understood before.  I’m excited to go forward with this concept in mind, allowing it to trickle into the cracks of daily life growing forgiveness and focus in the lonely spots which once were bare.

Do you tend to embrace community or resist it?  

Feel Like You're Sacrificing for Your Kids?

I’m glad to be of use.  I am.  The Bible says, “work for man AS IF you’re working for God.”  That’s good advice.  It is. 

But some days that barely cuts it.  

I work as a farmhand for my dad.  It’s a good job, in that it’s exactly the flexibility I need and he pays a fair wage.  It keeps me active and gets me out of the house.  The list of “pros” is long enough. 

But today, part of my job is scraping dried manure off the (gas, clutch, and brake) pedals of the loader tractor.  (Sigh)  Nothing like removing dried manure to keep one humble.  

Can’t I just go write some books?

Don’t try to talk me into loving this job.  I know it’s good.  Somedays I’d just like someone to know: I have other things to offer.  I’m a writer and a thinker and I have good ideas!  I just can’t chase all of that this minute. 

Feel like you’re sacrificing a lot for your kids?  I hear ya. 

I’m not complaining with the intention of changing things.  I’m just pointing out that a lot of us do things during our time as parents, that is a pretty clear sacrifice for something else we’d rather be doing.  I’m not here to nominate anyone for sainthood, either.  We are in this together.  

I just think it’s worth noting: We sacrifice for our children.  

We choose a job that has good hours and benefits, but isn’t really our dream career.  We move to a neighborhood that puts us in a good school district, but a smaller house than we’d prefer.  We put the career on hold, or buy a minivan instead of the slick hybrid, or finish the basement so they have a place to put all their stuff.  Or maybe we find a second job to pay for the private school - or just the bills.  Or head back to work sooner than we wanted because otherwise we can’t afford the health insurance the family needs. 

These are “first-world problems,” as they say.  We are privileged to do these things, to make these choices.  A lot of these things only occasionally annoy us.  In fact, you might even find out you love the awesomeness of your minivan.  

But I just would like to take a moment to say that on the more frustrating days, when you are grumpy about some of the choices you feel like you “have” to make: You are not alone.  If you feel like you are sacrificing for your family, you probably are.  

Way to go! Because that’s your job as a parent.

What have you sacrificed for your kiddos?

What Is Home Building?

When our house fell down - YES OUR HOUSE FELL DOWN! - I started a blog called Home Building.  Building the house was a big part of our lives at the time and I wanted to bring others on the journey.  But really even bigger than the house that was being built, was the process of me learning to be an intentional mom who was building a home for her family.  

Around that time, I was resisting domestication - a girl raised up in the 80's surrounded by strong women who were bound and determined to inspire big dreams.  The women in my family knew that their girls had something to offer the world, and they were proud of the voice that women were finding.  

My family is amazing and I love the legacy of passionate pursuit they inspired in us.  But between that and the influence of the rest of the world, I was quite sure that I was supposed to be doing EVERYTHING and that I was FAILING miserably.  When I finally decided staying-at-home for my kiddos during this season of life made more sense than torturing all of us, the results were part relief and part shame.  

Home Building (the blog) became a parallel process whereby I would find a way to accept this new "career," not lose my mind, and maybe even find community in the process. All those things happened and now I truly know the meaning of Home Building. Am I finished? No way. Have I made progress? Oh yes. [And btw, Progress, not Perfection, is the name of the game around here. Or at least I strive for it to be.] 

Home building is something that most of us want to do. We want to build a home with our spouse and/or kids or extended family.  A home that exudes comfort and safety and love. I'm not talking about fabulous plush pillows and the perfect paint color. I'm talking about forgiveness and listening and not being as selfish as I'm prone to be. (Yes, this is mostly about me and you're along for the ride.) 

Actually, as it turns out, it's mostly about God. Come to find out, my job as a home builder - a.k.a wife, mom, family member - is really all about Him and what He is doing in me, and how He can make miracles happen. Like when my 7 year old refuses to do her homework for over 2 hours and I DON'T strangle anyone. (I know. It was an all-around delight.) You KNOW it's a miracle that the __of you can live in this house in relative peace, so don't pretend like it's not.  

Home Building means building up your

• spouse
• kids
• intimacy with Christ
• home to be one of safety and security for those who live there
• kids' faith foundation
• wisdom
• confidence
• peers

I'm not here to give you a list of things to do.  Turns out these are things most of us already have on our lists, and they can be done while we are already interacting with these people.  I want Home Building to be a place where we can find encouragement and perspective as we try, fail, and try again.  

You'll find lots of grace and scripture here.  You'll find authenticity.  You'll find out that God uses imperfect women to build homes that nurture faith and love and forgiveness.  Thanks for joining us.  Tell your friends and lets encourage each other to build our homes on forgiveness and love, wisdom and understanding. 

"By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established." 

Proverbs 24:3

It Takes A Long Time to Grow Up

Dear People Who Interact with Kids Frequently, 

Hey, first of all, thanks for being awesome and dealing with these crazy kids.  Sometimes it feels a bit chaotic.  I have my own kiddos 10, 6, and 3; I’ve taught high school and elementary school; and we have big families.  There have ALWAYS been kids around. 

This doesn’t mean I’m the kind of person who can spend hours upon hours with kids and love it more than anything.  Au contraire!  I have my limits to be sure.  In fact, I can only take small doses at a time.  But of course as a parent, there’s only so much I can do about the wild animals that live in my house, and though we have generous grandparents, they send them home often. 

My kids are funny and smart and super cute.  Just like your kids.  

And they don’t listen very often and their dad can’t understand why.  

We make rules and then forget to enforce them and we have goals for them that we have to alter.  

They are always learning things, though not what I was necessarily teaching them.  

And they pick up on WAY too many of our bad habits.  

As often as I want them to be/respond/act/think a certain way, most of the time they are on their own schedule for those behaviors.  I mean, seriously, they act like children most of the time.    

Because see the thing that has finally really registered with me, is -

It takes ALL of childhood to teach these guys how to be adults.  

I recently wrote about perseverance.  About how I figured out that if I stay committed to a few things - the really important things - that I want them to learn, eventually those things will sink in.  It won’t be because they catch on fast.  It won’t be because I’m magic or bribed them or figured out exactly the right phrase to say.  It will be because I stuck to my guns.  

Say it with me: We will be a family who ____________. Now fill in the blank. What completes your sentence? That's what perseverance needs to be about.

 

I won’t always be consistent and perfect, but overall I won’t give up.  This will be the most effective parenting strategy.  (Other than prayer.  That’s for another post.)

This strategy is essential because this parenting stuff goes on FOR 18+ years.  18 years.  
That’s (at least) how long we have to have expectations for our kids and how long we have to be challenging them and how long it will take them to even be close to ready to head out on their own.  

To be sure it will look different at different stages.  I figure that by the time my daughter is 14, I basically need to have already imparted to her ALL the important things about her value as a person 
and the importance of respecting her body 
and other peoples’ 
and how to show kindness 
and say you’re sorry.  
Because at that point she will be treated like an adult in SO many ways, and it will be LIFE APPLICATION time.  
And I’ll be there for that.  

But sometimes in the hard moments of dealing with an 8-year-old or maybe attempting to reason with a 4 year old - we forget that, the lesson we are teaching this moment?  It will need to be re-taught.  
And re-taught.  
And then taught again.  
We’d like to think we can tell them “once” and it will stick.  But that’s crazy.  

Good for you if you can remember after someone tells you something once.  I have to be told multiple times, and write it down, and usually enter it into an electronic device and there is still a significant likelihood that you will be reminding me that we’ve already been over this “once.”  Whether it’s the fact that you DO NOT LIKE CHEESE (sorry, bro; I always forget), or how the heck to fold up the playpen, or how to start the power-washer, or how to put the car seat back together after I’ve washed all it’s parts.  

Rarely do we “get it the first time.”

It takes all of childhood to learn how to be an adult.  

Heck, it takes most of adulthood to learn how to be an adult!  Goodness sakes. 

My point is, keep your expectations reasonable.  
13-year-olds don’t typically have good study skills ESTABLISHED.  They need to be taught, reminded, held accountable, and then reminded again.  
3-year-olds probably will have potty accidents.  Yes it’s maddening and it’s because they just aren’t paying attention.  But you have to expect it.  It’s part of the deal.  
And 15-year-olds are going to make bad decisions.  They will need to live thru the consequences, be forgiven, and given a second chance.  They are still learning too. 

5-year-olds will forget.  
10-year-olds will manipulate.  
14-year-olds sometimes throw temper tantrums.  
Be the adult here and recognize that this child is still learning.  He needs a firm, steady, hand of guidance.  

And lots of second chances.  

Just like you.

Sincerely,

Angie

Mom, Teacher, Learner

What The 10th Year Of Parenting Has Taught Me

Note: If your kids do what you want them to do the first (or even second) time you tell them, you don't need to read this.

Dear Frustrated Moms of Youngins’, 

I recently learned something that might give you some hope.  

It took a long time for me to figure this out.  Lots of frustration and hands up in the air and wondering why I bother.  But now…... now a few things are falling into place.  And I want to share. 

Here’s what the 10th year of parenting has taught me: 

If I stick to something long enough, my family catches on. 

Long enough like 10 years?  Yep.  Sometimes there will be goals for your family that don’t take so long to achieve.  And maybe all of this was looking better after 8 years but I was too stressed-out to notice.  Whatever.  

In the beginning of our family, I remember having visions of what life should look like for us.  Not the fancy-house-on-the-hill kind of dream.  Things like -

• Evenings where we don’t watch television.
• Reading together as a family.
• Eating dinner together every night at the table.
• Kids getting ready for bed without a fight.
• Kids putting their laundry away by themselves. 

I dreamed of them and I wanted them NOW and I couldn’t understand why these things were not more accessible.  These all seem like reasonable things, right?  In fact, they are healthy and normal and logical. 

So then why do young children (and husbands, depending on the goal) respond by rioting?  Why does there have to be whining and complaining and dramatically dropping to the floor as if they have been Tasered?  I’m not asking that much.  I don’t think my demands are extreme.  

Originally my list of expectations was much longer than this.  I let a few of them slide when no one was cooperating.  But the things that I really really wanted… the dreams I couldn't let go of… I kept working towards.  Not everyday.  Not consistently.  Not perfectly, AT ALL.  

But the ones that were most important to me

have withstood my exhaustion and their fights,

and now some of these things are actually happening.  

Like right here in front of me.  

It’s kindof exciting. 

• Telling a child to get their pajamas on and not having to explain “Why.”
• Finding children reading in the living room (mostly) voluntarily.  No TV, and no complaints.  
• Handing a daughter a basket of folded clothes and - get this - she takes it, walks upstairs, and puts them away. 

Do these things happen every time without complaint?  Nope.  But more often than in the past.  They know I’m not going to quit asking.  They know these are things that I will insist on.  They have finally decided that arguing doesn't pay.  

Me and My 10-year-old

And Praise the Lord.  Now that I know this, it’s so much easier to have hope for the other things I’m trying to teach them.  Respecting their siblings.  Doing homework right after school.  Standing up for the kids who get picked on.  Choosing friends who have the same values we do.

It’s important that you understand I have not done this flawlessly.  I am consistently NOT as consistent as I need to be.  But perseverance makes a difference.  

It’s also important you take this with a grain of salt.  There are things that I want my kids to understand, that they may never “get.”  Regardless of how much I want it.  No matter how many times I say it. 
I’m not suggesting I've cracked a code or I have an approach that guarantees success.  

But I am suggesting that there is hope for us.  Moms, try to be optimistic!  Stay determined.  Be reasonable with your family, but don’t despair.  I've seen the other side.  Your perseverance will pay off!!

Sincerely,

Angie

Mom of kiddos 10, 6, and 3.

Anybody else learn any big parenting lessons lately? What are they?  Share in the comments and we can all get better at this.

Is My Daily Life As A Mom A "Battle?"

Today is Hearts at Home's monthly blog hop! If you'd like to know about Hearts at Home (it's a great organization with a life-changing yearly conference), go here.

Take part in today's blog hop by checking out the other blogs involved! Today's theme is Love Your Now. This is a reflection of the 2014 conference theme Love Your Life. You can read more about why I love Hearts if you click here.  

Plenty of to-do list surrounding me, but a few minutes of pause are available, so I will take them. Who knows how long I have before the battle begins again, right?

Wait. Let’s not call it a battle. I’ve had a couple of good reminders this morning about how great my job is. 

photo credit: clement127 via photopin

And it’s not that I don’t like my job. I do like it. When I run into people from my life as a teacher, and they say “How are you?! We miss you! Do you miss it?” I pause. I DO miss those people. I have missed teaching. But I am so entrenched in my SAHM life now - in a good way - that it’s like thinking back to another lifetime. Life is so different today.

And is it a battle? A battle with time, for sure. I struggle against the minutes that rush by. Only 22 minutes until we have to leave for school. Only 47 minutes till bedtime and we just sat down to eat. Only 8 days till the birthday party. Only 3 weeks till VBS starts. Only a couple months before he won’t fit into this anymore. Only a few years to impart all I can to my oldest.

And on the flip side of that, we “can’t wait” till that day comes. Hopefully the house will be done in the next 5 months. Looking forward to seeing you when we come up for vacation in July. Can’t wait to meet your baby – are you STILL pregnant?  When Daddy gets home, then maybe we can go to the park.

It’s a battle with time, no doubt. But I’d like to think of daily life a little differently. Not a battle. While my house does look like a WAR ZONE, it shouldn’t be a battle. Then what should I call it? I could liken it to a school: trying to teach my kids how to love, how to have compassion, how to clean their rooms. I might relate it to a game: attempting to stay one step ahead of my kids, strategizing my every move, and quickly – but carefully- choosing my next words so I can..what? Win? Well, sortof.

Really it’s just Life – in the fullest sense of the word. There is no one so full of life as a 4 year-old. There is no one who can remind you of the miracle of life, like a baby in your arms. There is no one who looks ahead to a life of possibilities like a 7 year-old. 

Life lives here. Right now.  

In my war zone – 

toys strewn about, 

yesterday’s clothes piled on top of the high laundry mountains that exude “life,” 

dirty dishes, 

open windows with the sunny breeze blowing in. 

This is where Life lives. 

My life.  

And I love it. 

It has been a busy one. It has been a struggle lately for me to find the right balance in the midst of a crazy schedule. I’ve had to put off writing, reading for pleasure, and networking. But I am attempting to hold on to this life and make each day count. I get frustrated when I can’t slow down time. I feel like a failure when it seems I’m losing the game. So I am especially thankful for moments like this, when I can step back and, well, enjoy my life.  

Right now. 

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.Psalm 118:24

What have you had to sacrifice lately so that life "right now" can be what it needs to be?