The House My Husband Built

It's long overdue that I post a picture of the house!

There were a few pieces of siding missing for a while and I couldn't bring myself to post a picture of it with those missing parts. There is still landscaping to do and the porch to finish, but these are all details that do not get in the way of our daily lives.  As everyone who owns a house knows, there is always something that needs done.  This house is no exception and will provide us with projects for years to come.  But we are loving it and everyday when I wake up I am amazed that it is ours!

For the record, builder-husband did have help from his family and friends.  But he spent many a long day and night hammering away, planning, measuring, and finishing - often alone, sometimes with a helper... The weight of the project on his shoulders.  His attention to quality and detail is all over this thing and a testament to his talent and perseverance!

#grateful
#homebuilding
#familybuilding
#husbandbragging

Saturday Morning Love

My house is a disaster. Working so much has seriously taken its toll around here.  But it's warm and beautiful nonetheless. The soft carpet under my feet, radiates thru my tired body and gives me comfort. I have a working dishwasher and washing machine to clean the piles that surround me. There is good food in the refrigerator for us to eat at mealtime. 

I am grateful. 

My kids are in their pajamas. Hair knotted, overdue for baths. But they have found each other today. First wrestling on my bed. Now gathering pieces for a tea party. The oldest made eggs. Yes she is mad they won't build a tent with her, but it will blow over. They have warm clothes to put on and very little schedule to abide today. They have watched almost no television on this Saturday morning. 

I am grateful. 

My husband has a million things he needs and wants to do. He wrestles with where to start and he feels overwhelmed. But he has his health and his options and a truck that runs and a job. 

I am grateful. 

I am grateful for my first world problems. I appreciate the ability to think thru my challenges, to talk out the disputes, and the loving friends I can lean on. 

Today it is easy to see that my problems are wrapped in blessings. I pray that on days when it feels much harder, God will comfort my heart with the knowledge he grants me today: I am grateful. 

House Pictures - Now with Siding!

I've been waiting to post pictures until the siding is done. But I feel like sharing a little early.  This has been Brad's project this summer when he isn't at work.  He has done a beautiful job and the back of the house is actually even a little further now then when I took these.  It's going to be so beautiful when complete.  Having pictures to share now will make future pictures more fun anyway.  :)

The siding is a muted green color.

(Above) This is the east side of the house - the one that faces the fields and not the road.  People driving by don't get to see it, but this is what I see when I pull in and get out of my van.  Makes me smile pretty much every time.

(Above) This is the public face of the house.  Faces north - you can see it as you drive up.  The gables will get a split shake shingle in a dark brown.  Added little detail we are excited about.  The porch has a future as well, but serves it's purpose quite well right now.  In fact, it's totally fine with me that you can only access it from the house.  Makes it tough for animals and strangers to be up there.  :)

(Above) This is the west side and faces the road.  The picture makes it look dark.  Looking forward to some creative landscaping around those basement windows.

(Above) This is the south side and the most complicated as far as siding goes.  The little angles on each side of the chimney had to be roofed, and Brad had to build a little roof thing over there on the right (above that door), just to even things out and make it look right.  Plus there are just a lot of tiny little pieces of siding to cut.  That skinny roof over there doesn't actually serve much of a purpose other than aesthetically.  The house plans had a screened in porch coming out of that door, so eventually we will add that.  Looking forward to the chimney being trimmed out.  I think it will look really cool with the finishing touches.  

Oh, yeah, and check out that grass!!  Very fun to have grass over most of our yard now.  Still pretty bumpy, but one thing at a time. :)

Ever had a house remodeling project go on FOREVER?  Yeah, we can relate to that.  Building, remodeling, whatever.  Pretty sure on almost everyone's house, there is always something that needs to be done.  

Why I Can't Get Ahead of the Mess

As I walk thru the disaster zone that is the living space of my house - credit due to my children and their love for things but aversion to picking up - I consider cleaning.  How would I even BEGIN to gather up all the random things that I see strewn before me?

Step 1: Find an empty laundry basket.

This basket will give me a place to put the things I walk past, so I can then easily deliver them to their homes.  (If they have homes.)  That one sock, half an easter egg, the girlie clipboard, the tiny purse, a hair extension... and that is just the tip of the iceberg in this small entryway.  Hmmm, an empty laundry basket....

Step 2: Empty this laundry basket.  

Geez, I hate putting laundry away.  Ok, this will all have to be folded and sorted first.  Can I get my children to help?  That would be nice and also of benefit to them in the long run.  However, I have to decide if I have time for the arguments that would inevitably be a part of that process.

Step 3: Dump laundry on bed. 

Step 4: Proceed with newly emptied basket into first room to begin process.  

3 minutes of picking up and the basket is full.  

Hmmmm, I’m going to need some more baskets......

Step 5: Return to Step 1

Step 6: Reconsider how committed you really are to this task.  

Step 7: Abandon process and pour yourself a drink.  Sit back and evaluate paying children to clean up after themselves.  

:) Hope you are having a joyful week! Find a reason to laugh today!

photo credit: Dean Terry via photopin cc

Finding Solutions that Work for YOU

Somehow my wonderful husband made sure that our closet had shelves and rods before we moved in over a year ago.  We were both really excited about having a walk-in closet and had all sorts of creative ideas about how the space should be utilized. 


Unfortunately, I tend to be somewhat of a slob, and the walk in closet became my dumping ground.  And the bedroom.  And all our dressers.  Ok, I'm a total slob.




I clean them up every once in a while, but for some reason I take no pause before draping my clothes over whatever laundry basket or large piece of furniture happens to be closest.  (I draw the line at our bedside tables and my floor mirror, but really that's about it).  

Our closet-of-high-hopes stayed the way it was when we moved in, until the other day.  We finally put up shelves for blankets and linens.  Praise the Lord!  Then the other day Brad added a shoe shelf.  Now we are getting fancy!

I put a hamper of my own behind the door and moved some hangers closer to the end of the rod.  Maybe, if they are handy, I will hang things, I thought.  Maybe, if I see my hamper right there, the clothes will go in it.  Maybe.

Well, turns out I might be on to something.  I seem to be drawn to putting the clothes INTO the hamper.  I find myself reaching for a hanger and PICKING THINGS UP OFF THE FLOOR!  It's a crazy development, but I'm hopeful.

Somehow I might have stumbled upon something THAT WORKS FOR ME.  I've identified some patterns of behavior and I'm working with those; not so much against them.  So often we try to take someone else's amazing idea, and integrate it into our life; our home; our parenting style.  But it doesn't work.  And we are left feeling failure or disappointment or frustration.

The older I get the more I realize I have to figure out what works best FOR ME.  It doesn't mean that my way is the only way.  Or that it's ok to live like a slob.  It means that some things work better for others.  It means that what looks great on Pinterest, just might not be the ideal solution for my home.  And it means focusing on the positives - my skills and abilities - instead of fixating on my weaknesses and what I'm terrible at.

"Know thyself," an ancient Greek idea that few can argue with, is the take-home idea here.  Instead of walking around blindly trying to put on the habits and routines of others, we have to seek to understand what makes us tick; what makes sense for where we are at, today.  It's hard to sort through the barrage of suggestions, solutions, and idea galleries that inundate our lives.  But eventually it works so much better to walk away from the screen, think about our individual situation, and make a decision based on the real people involved.   

You aren't a failure because her way sounds impossible to you.  I'm not a lost cause because my dishes aren't all washed before I fall asleep on the couch.
Instead I'll consider the needs of my family and + add that to my proven strengths, to find = the solution that will work best for us right now.  

Today I won't beat myself up for the things I'm not good at.  I won't feel like a loser for the laundry that isn't put away or my desk piled up with papers.  I'm going to enjoy the little triumphs and celebrate learning something new about myself.  

And maybe I’ll clean my room while I’m at it. ;)

Look!

As much as I love photos and scrapbooking, I'm terrible at getting pictures posted online.  I just don't have the patience for it.  But let's start 2012 out with some pictures of our new life.  I am back - yearning to blog, excited for the new year and our new life in our new home.  We have new goals now, a new schedule and a new routine.  I'm excited about what this year will bring for us.

A lot of people have asked to see pictures of our house.  Remember - I have 3 kids one of whom feels it's his mission to undo everything I do.  So getting pictures of a clean room is a challenge.  Somehow, though, I've gathered a variety of pictures showing some of my favorite things about the house and our life here. 

One of my favorite things about my kitchen - there are a lot actually - is my pantry.  The right side, modeled here by Edwin, is food.  The left side (fixed shelves instead of the pull out) is for art supplies for my children.  The first week Eddie thought climbing in and out of the moving lower drawer was pretty awesome. 

And could he be more adorable here?  Yes, he needed a haircut.  But it only added to his charm.  :)  And while we're at it, here he is in another favorite activity that first week.  This is the view of the back of the cabinets under our countertop (and the back cabinet on the end). 

Turns out I did manage to snap a picture of our living room after I decorated for Christmas.  It gives an overview of the room that is decent.  The high ceiling makes the room look enormous here, but it's actually pretty cozy. 

The wall with the fireplace is the south wall.  The opposite living room wall is the open staircase, which you can see the start of behind Edwin here.  Mostly this is just a super cute picture of my boy so I had to include it.  :)

Standing below the staircase, this is what you see.  It's a ton of crazy angles that my husband figured out to make our house the way it is.  For the math-challenged like me, I can't imagine attempting this.  For my geometrically-minded husband, it was a success.  He did a beautiful job on trimming the stairway too.  It's not quite finished, but it still looks amazing. 

All the woodwork was stained by my mother-in-law, her sister, or me.  Eileen did the most for sure - all the baseboard, and it looks incredible.  Here is my laundry room door for a better idea of the style and the colors that flow through our house.  As you can see, the door is not trimmed yet.  That will happen eventually.  (Uppercase Living Expression courtesy Jenny DeSchepper.  Love her.  Love that stuff.  The door says THE LAUNDRY ROOM: get all the good dirt here. :)

Another favorite - we had this deep space next to the refrigerator where I wanted to keep my recipe books.  We had a cabinet put in place there so it would continue the flow of the cabinets.  I love this space!!

Right below that is my tupperware cabinet.  Organizing guru and good friend, Jan, came over to help me make it work.  Tupperware storage has always been impossible for me, but this system is actually working!!

In celebration of our new home, Sophie's birthday, and the Christmas season we opened our house up the week before Christmas and had a big party.  Here is Sophia in our kitchen.  (We have a formal dining room, but we currently have it set up as an office).  This is where we spend most of our time.  I love the big windows and all the light that comes in.  I had been worried it wouldn't be big enough for us, but it's perfect.

Every day I look around in amazement that we really live here now!  It's changed everything.  We are so thankful.  There is still plenty of work to be done on the house.  But it seems everyone I talk to feels the same way about their house.  Home building is only partially about the structure you live in.  As I was recently reminded by an inspiring woman, building a home is largely about the relationships it shelters.

The home building continues. 

Choices

Life is full of choices.

Who will you marry?  What job will you take?  How many kids will you have?

And sometimes life seems like it throws things at us and we had no choice.

I wanted more kids, but we couldn’t get pregnant.  I can’t find a job – there are none here close to home.  My house fell down and now it seems we have to build a new one. 

 :)

But really even at these moments, we make choices that are our decision.  We could have brought in a double-wide.  Would that have been a good choice considering my husband is a contractor and builds houses?  Probably not.  Would it have been a lot less money and less hassle?  More than likely.

It’s easy to see this with some things, not as easy with others.  Sometimes we go ahead and get pregnant, even when maybe it’s not the most ideal of circumstances.  Sometimes we don’t return the phone call an extra day, and now that job is unavailable.  Sometimes we are married to someone who just doesn’t have the same plan we do.  

Life isn't fair.  And life is not this cut and dry, really, either.  None of these decisions or situations are really as black and white as we might want to make them, or as we wish they could be.  Some of our children think that mommies have babies because they prayed to Jesus and asked him for one.  If only it was that simple.  Some of our husbands think that we are home all day and so the clothes should all be put away.  Again – not quite that simple. 

Either way, we have to admit the law of cause and effect is alive and well.  When our choices have led us to this moment, we have to work with it.  I want to be working at the new house.  In my mind, this “needs” to be done.  Thankfully I have a lot of family to turn to.  But I didn’t ask my mom or Aunt Kathy it was ok with them that I had a third kid or that we were going to build a house “on our own” (which really means with the help of those who love us).  I didn’t check with them first.  So if they can’t watch my kids, it’s not their fault.  The choices I have made have led here to this moment. 

It’s not that no one wants to help me.  It’s not personal.  It’s my problem.  I have to make choices because I have this set of responsibilities in my life right now.  I might not be able to go shopping with my friends or scrapbooking of an evening, because I’ve used up all my babysitters and I can’t afford to hire someone.  I might not be able to make my dr. appointments when I want or go get groceries when I want, because I don’t have help at those times.  I’m learning that the list of things that “need” to be done is a little different than I might like it to be.  

As we get closer to moving into our house, and running out of money :) , I find myself wondering how we are going to pay for all of the things I undoubtedly will “need.”  Closet shelving, curtains, fireplace mantle and surround, front porch finishing, lighting on the front of the garage.  Yes, these were originally part of the budget, but they have been pushed off the list as other things encroached and now I’m faced with some choices:  Can I have everyone over to my house with an unfinished fireplace?  

I’ve decided to embrace my situation.  We won’t have enough money for me to have things the way I want within the next 6 months.  I’m going to be proud instead of embarrassed.  We have made the choice for me to stay home and take care of our family.  Result: We don’t have enough money to make our house exactly how we want.  I’m hoping I can be ok with this.  We aren’t going anywhere.  Those details will still be there when Edwin is school age.  I can address them then.  

I was raised in a society that likes to blame others.  I do that.  But I was raised by parents who taught me my life is my problem.  And as I get older I recognize that more, I guess.  As I get older it’s a little easier to see the big picture.  What I think I “need” to have or to do today, is probably not as pressing as I think it is.  I have choices.  

And one of them is calling my name right now.  :)

The woman in my kitchen

When I imagine myself
in my new house

it's always quiet there
and usually I'm alone.

(Which is funny for a lot of reasons.)

I am standing in the kitchen
in the sunlight
looking out my
big
new
windows.

I'm holding a mug
(even though I don't drink coffee)
and wearing a warm, cozy robe.

I'm smiling slightly,
a content
- at peace -
look on my face.

It's early morning
(except I'm never up before 6:30)
and
of course
the kitchen is clean.

There is some clutter
(this isn't complete fiction)
mostly because we just moved and we're still unpacking.

And I'm thinking about how
good
it is
to finally be home.

The woman in my kitchen
could be me

(it rarely occurs to me she's not).

But occasionally I wonder,
worry a little,

about what's real
and what only exists

in my dreams.

Changes

Yikes, it has been a while. I was thinking yesterday - I hope after we move I can do this regularly again. I imagine myself sitting in the sunlight of my new kitchen, at the table - no doubt surrounded in chaos only having moved that week - but writing.  Taking time a few times a week to write. 

Life continues to change. It makes me smile because I think usually we say "nothing new here," while all the while nothing is really the same. Kids are growing, we are learning, life throws us its surprises and we bounce back acting as if nothing happened. But honestly, nothing is the same. Edwin turned ONE this weekend. Much to our confusion, it has been a year since we first met him! He has been as handsome and charming as we suspected he would be. This weekend he went from occasionally taking a few steps when we begged him, to awkwardly making his way to the things he wants – namely his new toys or the visitors we had.  Very fun.  

The girls have gotten into the groove of their new school year.  We have welcomed the routine and adjusted nicely, I think.  In the midst of working at the new house and trying to maintain regular daily stuff, I didn’t know if it would be possible.  But it has been good.  Crazy, but good. 

Brad and I have entered our 13^th year of marriage and feel like we’ve started something new in our life together.  A series of events has shown us (or reminded us?) of the importance of connecting daily.  We’ve been really intentionally spending time together - almost every day - turning the TV off, listening to each other and working on US.  It has been challenging but good.  We both know that we are moving towards a better place as a couple and a family.  The world looks different from here, but it’s growing on us. 

The house is closer than ever!  J  I say that with a laugh – it had better be!!  Brad has been working hard to “finish.”  The finishing is just as time-consuming as the starting.  Trim, floors, cabinets, plumbing, stairs (eventually we will not have to climb a ladder to get in!), lighting – before we can get final inspection done.  It looks more like a house certainly, but until we have the magic papers we can’t move in.  Besides, who wants to move in without carpet and then have to move everything around 2 more times?  Anyway, so thankful for Brad’s mom and Aunt Kathy varnishing doors.  And father-in-law Denny has moved all kinds of dirt so you can even tell where the yard ends and the driveway starts!  We are very excited. 

I was pretty bummed last weekend as I looked ahead at all the work to be done and how we might not be in by the end of September as we’d planned.  I had my little meltdown and delt.  But then on Monday I read something about goal-setting that was really comforting.  It was actually in a Pampered Chef newsletter that I get.  Karyn Battey, who was recently promoted to Executive Director, says this: 

“Don’t be afraid to set big, lofty goals.  After all, someone has to have them!  Just make sure to set a deadline.  If you don’t meet that deadline, don’t abandon the goal.  Simply celebrate what you’ve accomplished thus far, decide what you’re going to do next, and set a new deadline.”

This was a good moment for me.  It’s REALLY hard to set lofty goals – or at least it is for me.  And my husband is worse than I am!  But we had decided back in July that it would be a good idea to set a goal for a move-in date.  That this would drive us and push us and help us stay focused.  And it has.  And certainly there is plenty to celebrate!  The house looks amazing, it’s better than I ever imagined, and we WILL move in one of these days.  Happy about change!

A Kitchen

I finally get the chance, just for a few minutes, to write – and I stare at the keys. There is so much lately that I have wanted to share. So many moments. But I barely have time for updates.Yesterday we were cleaning here at home, and I felt like I was making little progress. Even after 4 boxes of packing, the living room had been destroyed again by some little helpers. There’s just a lot going on.

School starts next week for us. We have been on a very not-school-friendly schedule this summer. We stay up late so we can see or help daddy, and sleep in a bit. The girls need more rest and I’m trying to figure out how we are going to balance everything between now and move in day.

Brad has insisted, though, that we get away before the summer is officially over. We will head up to Chicago soon for a couple of nights as a family. I’m looking forward to it. We have a slow schedule planned and I hope we can just enjoy some time away from all the responsibilities we have facing us here.

When we leave we will leave a house much closer to move-in-ready. Here is what I found when I went out to the house last night!

The kids were excited too! Even Edwin couldn’t get enough of that new kitchen floor. He crawled around in circles giggling and pounding on it with his toy car. It was pretty entertaining.Honestly, that’s kindof what I wanted to do too. I loved watching him celebrate it with us.

It’s funny how yesterday was a reminder, again, of how differently Brad and I think. I assume that one would lay all the floors (kitchen, bathroom, etc), then set all the cabinets, then work on all the plumbing. But for one reason or another, after finishing the kitchen floor, in came the cabinets and he started hanging them as soon as he could. (I think part of the reason is that he enjoys cabinet work. J) We both are very pleased with the cabinets that we chose and currently favor the kitchen. Good thing, since the kitchen is where I spend most of my time.

Now if I could only pick out my ceiling fans, we’d be almost done making decisions. I look forward to that day. Almost as much as I look forward to move-in day.

The home building continues… J

House Update July '11

The house is coming right along. If you’ve seen us lately, you know that that is our focus right now and we are seeing big progress. We decided while drywall was being put up (a subcontractor did it instead of Brad – yay!!), we would do a little landscaping. I love how it turned out, but we need a lot more plants and that didn’t get done before it got too hot. Oh, well – next year. But now we have paint on the walls, wood flooring waiting to be installed, and the lighting is arriving here and there. Dad is helping with electrical, Brad’s dad is helping with the septic tank (yikes), and Brad is doing what he can. I’m trying to do what I can when I can get the kids somewhere else. We are planning to be moved in well before the holiday season begins.

I am so excited about all of this finally becoming a reality! I get a little ahead of myself sometimes, and have a hard time with how long things take. You’d think I’d have figured all that out by now, but as the end approaches I am as anxious and impatient as ever! Cabinets are ordered and have arrived, I’m close to picking out carpeting, and we’re slowly packing up our house. We are officially going with stained trim, but are running into some glitches trying to find the right color. Hopefully this weekend that will be taken care of. Can’t wait till the living room ceiling has what it needs so we can take the scaffolding down! J

Here are some pictures of our progress!

Life Now

Long time since I posted any pictures of the house. These are certainly worthy. :) (See the house back there behind Edwin?)

The front door is in! I love it. That is one thing that is clearly new. Lots of things have been happening with the house, but they don't make exciting pictures. Plumbing and electrical are in. And there were a few more framing things Brad has been working on, but stuff you have to look hard to see. Inspector came thru and gave us the go-ahead, so we can move on to the next phase!

I've had some people ask for new pictures, and I guess I could take some more. Not sure what it is that's keeping me so busy these days... ? ;) just kidding. No, really, though it would be fun to go take some more pics. I should because soon we will be getting insulation and drywall and then things will look really different!!! We are at a turning point. Garage floor went in last weekend, insulation and drywall coming in soon and things will be changing! Not getting ahead of myself looking at moving dates, though. Still a lot of work to do and Brad still has a very full-time job.

Meanwhile, I'm just trying to take care of the house and life we have now. Lots to do - laundry, dishes, groceries, school trips, etc... It's very rewarding, but I have not had the time I wish I had to write. So that is suffering. But my kids are not. When we're home, we've found a couple of no-tv nights. The girls have been getting along pretty well overall, and they both want to do what they can to help out with baby brother. Sophie got new glasses and is persevering thru the parts of school she struggles with. She also continues to thrive at the parts she is fabulous at - namely math and handwriting and art. Clare's 4th birthday is quickly approaching and her wishlist is a mile long. :) And Edwin is generally happy.. especially when I am holding him or Sophie is in the room.

Trying to sort thru priorities lately has been a challenge. For a while there I was writing a lot, but the house and organized life were crumbling around me. Something always has to give. But this is a phase in my life - mother of small children - that will not last that long. So I want to give it as much attention as I can. Today I sat in an armchair feeding my baby boy a bottle. The house was quiet (girls were at school) and I rested my chin on his soft head. I took a deep breath and soaked it up. I looked down at him and rested my cheek on his fine hair. He looked up at me and smiled a little. He likes it when you snuggle. It's different the third time around. I know how quickly this changes. I know better than to wish away any moments. I know I can't get this back. Life marches on dutifully.

Been reading The Spirituality of the Cross and in it there is a part about the daily life of a Christian. It's these mundane moments, these uneventful minutes where we learn about the grace of God and the love of our Maker. I pray that you have a few minutes to soak it up this week. Enjoy your mundane moments. Give your daily frustrations to the Lord. Such is life.

Baby crying.. gotta go. :)

Building a House

For a while now I have wanted to compile the important House posts in one spot. I figured this would be good for people new to my blog who might be interested in knowing about our journey of building a house. But it turns out, it's a good idea for me - so I can see what our journey looks like. Very appropriate for New Year's Eve, too. A little jog down memory lane, so to speak. And a reminder of what kind of a ride we've been on...

House Plans 101

Really Starting

Ground Level

Basement I

Basement II

Basement Floor

Wall Raising

First Look, First Floor

Rafters I

Rafters II

Sometime after this, we came to expect a new baby. Pregnancy + a new baby = fewer house updates and fewer pictures. There were some blogs about me having a hard time adjusting to the fact that progress on the house wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind...

Let It Go

An Actual House Update

In September '10, Edwin was born.. and the house continued to come right along...

Images

Clearly we need a new update. Brad continues to work out there and is making progress on the electrical. My new mantra: 2011 is our year!! :)

An Actual House Update

When I was in junior high, we had a scary/fabulous teacher – Mrs. Cluver. She had a lot of personality and was, what we thought, very demanding of us. Her expectations were always high and she was serious as a heart-attack, most of the time. When we would ask her “How long does this writing assignment need to be?” in our whiney little junior high voices, her response was always the same: “As long as it takes.”

You can bet, as I learned the arts of teaching and writing, my response to that same question echoed hers. My students were always wanting to know an easy formula for their project. And I was very motivated to teach them – there isn’t one. I loved teaching writing (not grading it J), because it reveals so much about us when we write about something important to us. And it’s the process that really matters – not nearly as vital as the final product when we are talking about a young writer... learning.

Like my students, I have wanted a simple answer to a straightforward question: When will it be done? And like my students, I get the annoying answer: When it’s done.

It’s taken me awhile – a long while – to adjust to this truth. I think I am getting closer. Recently when people have asked about the house, that is what I tell them. And I truly know it. I have no idea, and I realize now – Brad doesn’t really know either. How could he? Who builds a house in their spare time? So he is doing the best he can, without sacrificing watching his children grow up. He works late, but not all night. He comes home to eat and plays with the girls a bit, and we even went away this weekend and I think there wasn’t too much guilt about not working on the house. We needed time together as a family, especially before the baby arrives.

So the real update on the house is: It will be done when it’s done. The project at hand is building a porch. We are working on the last of the decision making as far as this aspect goes, and I’m excited. Having a porch will be very cool, and it means the roofing can be done. It also means a much easier time getting into and out of the house instead of the crazy climbing that is required right now.

There is lots more to do after that. When those things are in sight, I will share. For now, I will do my porch-floor research and be happy with that. Besides, at almost 9 months pregnant, I have enough house decisions on my plate right now. Like, where is this kid going to sleep? J

Let It Go

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thes 5:18

I have a LOT of good things going on right now. But the devil is good at making me feel sorry for myself. And at times like those, I can’t help but blame him for hormones too. Same old story with me these days: wondering how we will bring home a baby to this little house, get Soph too school, and move someday. Nothing that hasn’t been done before and I’ve been getting tired of feeling annoyed about it.

So, my focus needed to change. And after a big crash of emotions last week, God and I had a talk and he opened my eyes to Letting Go.

Not a big surprise that I HAVE A PLAN and IT’S NOT HIS. I love my plans. I love making lists, I love brainstorming.. I Love Planning. It’s one of the reasons I love to teach, it’s one of the reasons I love life, frankly. J So of course, I always have to have at least a loose mental plan for the next few months of life, depending on what’s going on.

I’m not sure my husband usually plans much past the next 24 hours, and even that can sometimes be a stretch for him. But this year he has had a plan to get back into demo derby cars, and I was well aware of it. When we first started talking about it, we were also discussing building a house. When your husband is building you a house, it’s hard to say no to the little things. Well, it seemed little at the time. And we both believe strongly that we all need down-time, that we all need a break to keep us sane. So this seemed like a nice distraction for him to occasionally turn to.

And it has been.

But now it’s July and I’m really pregnant and stressed out and I want the house to be done. And for the next week, and for the last week (at least), that has not been his plan.

My plan has also been derailed, largely, by the weather, so it’s not like if he wasn’t doing demo the house would be ready. Not at all. And guess what – I can’t help with the house. I can’t do much on ladders these days, and no heavy lifting, and NEWSFLASH: I don’t know how to build a porch.

So basically this is a formula for me going crazy and feeling REALLY helpless and OUT OF CONTROL and we all know that is not going to sit well in this crazy head of mine.

So last weekend I was trying really hard to give it to God and He gave me this verse from Thessalonians about being joyful – and it didn’t really bring me joy. It brought me frustration and I was praying on it and knocking and pounding on the door thru my tears and looking for the thankfulness and He said “My will” and I threw up my hands and said Fine.

I hate giving up control. And it turns out generally in life I get my way. And it turns out when I don’t I’m like a spoiled little brat, stomping my feet and arguing and pouting. (I wondered where Sophie got that.)

After a bit of that, God tried really hard (and with some degree of patience) to show me the big picture, and reminded me of how great His plan has been in the past – even when mine was really good – and I started practicing saying “Let it go, let it go, let it go…” over and over.

On day 3 of my chant, I opened up a pocket devotional to the appropriate day and it said this: Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21. I laughed out loud and felt like God was saying, “Yes, I heard you. Yes, My plan is a good one. Keep up the effort.”

Day 4 I felt a little less stressed than I have and had a good day with the girls. Day 5 my husband asked if I wanted to go to a demo with him, and I managed to say yes and we spent time together for the evening and the wall started to crumble. Day 6 of Letting Go he got home when he said he would, and we even joked a little about our differences.

On Day 1 I made a list of the things I know for sure. Things like “Sophie starts school in August” and “We are expecting a baby boy in September” and “I need a dresser for this new baby’s things.” I went to a garage sale and found lots of deals and I’m making plans to paint an old dresser we have downstairs. I’m trying to figure out if we will have money for Sophie to get new school clothes and I need to make arrangements for her to go to the eye dr. Things I have control over, that need to be taken care of.

I can’t control how fast the house is being built. I can’t control the weather. I can’t control my husband (really?). I can control my joy (sortof), and I can control how much time I spend in prayer, and I can be thankful.

Today is Day 7. I have lots to be thankful for. My list making on Day 1 helped me to see that.

Meanwhile

Instead of a new picture of the house, I should post a picture of my sleeping husband. In the chair for less than 5 minutes.. and he is OUT. Not that it’s early – it’s 10:45 pm and he has only been home about an hour or so. No one can blame him.

We went out to the house tonight, the girls and I. They got to ride bikes out there and “help” me in the house, while I worked thru the kitchen design (again) trying to decide how I want things. It was much windier out there than I realized and he was on the roof putting tar paper on by himself. At times I could see him fighting the wind to get the paper to lay right, or to move a 2x4 into the right position. It’s crazy. I wished so badly I could get on the roof and help him, but we all know that’s out of the question these days. (Not sure he would let me even if I wasn’t pregnant.)

He’s working so hard, day and night. And he’s pretty stressed out overall. I’m sad I can’t do much to help him. He is still functioning generally, and has a great attitude with the girls. I know he has a lot on his mind and he’s exhausted, so I’m trying to give him lots of space and not harp on him about things. He is quite aware of how fast this baby is coming and how much work there is to be done.

It certainly has its effect on our relationship. Lots going on for both of us, and only so much we really want to talk at length about. I’m sure he’s tired of talking about kitchens. They say that building a house is one of those things that can “make or break” a marriage. We both feel pretty confident that we will get thru this without leaving each other, and it’s easier knowing the hardest part of what we’re doing now should be over by 2011. Pregnancy, building a house, him building a house for my parents (yikes) - the heavy lifting will be over eventually. Obviously we will have another child and a bigger mortgage when it’s over, but by the grace of God we will be able to handle it.

But I pray that when this year is over, WE will still be ok. We will be different people, for sure – but the important stuff will be the same hopefully. Like our commitment. But I’m still a bit scared about what repairs will have to be made to US when the dust settles.

Looking over at him asleep in the chair, I know some things won’t change. We both agree that we would prefer to keep our problems/privileges over most other people’s, any day. And if we keep talking, I think we’ll be ok. Meanwhile, if you see him, tell him you saw a picture and the house looks great. Don’t act like it’s taking forever, but ask him about his kids. We have a lot of fabulous things going for us, and the house is certainly one of them. And for all the things that are kindof getting a backseat right now, the girls get the best of him. I doubt that will change.

House Update: Rafters I

This is the view from the back of the house. Our living room is the uncovered and unwalled part in the middle. Brad is standing in the front of the upstairs. In this picture, 2 of the 3 upstairs bedrooms (those rooms top right) are gaining a roof!

Rafters being lowered into place on the west side of the house. I think the house may be considered a 1and 1/2 story, because there is a lot of upstairs that can only be storage. This side is one of those areas. (But I'll take all the storage I can get!)

The part of the house that comes out front here is the garage. See my lilac bushes that have been saved? The guys are always threatening to do away with them because they are so close to the house. Hopefully we'll find a suitable home for them eventually. For now, they stay where they are.

Front view of the house. Garage on the left, front door right there in the middle of the sheeted part.

House Update: Rafters 2

Front of house after 1/3 of the roof has been sheeted. Again, garage on left. Front door there in space on right. The house faces the driveway.

View from the road and entry to drive.

This is the back of the house. The living room is there in the middle, uncovered.. until.....

.... a roof! As you can see, the roof system is complicated on this house. Most days Brad cannot believe he picked out a house that requires so much work of him, but he always says "Well, at least it won't look like anyone else's house around here!" He's such an optimist, you know. ;)

First Look, First Floor

We actually have a 2nd floor started already, but these pictures are from a little before that. I know some of these won't make much sense, but I'm sharing anyway. :) This is from the back yard. That big empty space will be our living room wall with a fireplace in the middle, but since the living room has a cathedral ceiling, they can't put that wall up until more of the house is put together. Basically, there wouldn't be much to attach it to at this point.

I'm standing at what will be the foot of our stairs. You can see the basement stairs leading downstairs right there at the left. There will be a doorway over there, but you won't see any of that from here, because the stairs will be leading up right over them. To the right then is the living room - the stairs will be open to that room. Beyond the living room over there is the kitchen area.

This picture is taken in that kitchen area, looking back into the living room. The kitchen has a breakfast nook and then that large doorway goes into the living room. The master bedroom is far over there on the other side of the house from where I am. Hopefully we'll have a little more privacy than this, right? :)

I know all this is confusing. The important thing is We Have a First Floor!! :) I can't believe it. Progress will continue to be choppy and somewhat unpredictable based on how much work the guys have and, of course, our fabulous Illinois weather. I love how we got the floors on and then it rained for 2 days. :p It's ok, though. Brad says don't stress about it. He knew that was a big possibility and is not worried about it. Cool. Then I won't worry either.

Wall Raising

I am praising God for how much has gone good for my husband and our house today! The weather was tame and he had lots of help! What a blessing our family and friends are.

Today was Day 1 of wall raising. It seems to have gone pretty good and I can't express how exciting it is to see house going up! The corner that is up so far is our master bedroom and closet and bathroom. When we were there, they were working on finishing the rest of the north wall that is the front of the house - where the front door will be. That north wall is also a wall of our dining room, too. Amazing for me to stand in the area that will be our bedroom and closet and see a real space!

The last week has seen a lot of progress, but it goes in spurts. We'll have a lot of obvious developments, and then it will be less obvious as electrical and what-not goes on. Not to mention, if the weather doesn't cooperate, I'm not sure how long the framing and exterior will take.

But today's progress is promising and encouraging. Thank you, God.