December Pains and Prayers

So much heartache right now in the lives of people I know.

I wonder why I’m so lucky to have 3 perfectly healthy children.
Why I’ve been spared the loss so many mother’s face?
How I’m supposed to go to sleep after too many pieces of sadness today?

It’s late.
I can hear the cold rain softly hitting the windows as I walk through the kitchen.
It’s 10 days till Christmas.

As I enter the living room it looks different than when I left it 5 minutes ago. Instead of the piles of laundry and toys.. the books and papers on the end table.. a stack of movies near the tv stand….. My eyes start elsewhere. Instead of the messes and the disdain with which I left this room a short while ago, my eyes fix on the tree. The lights are bright and the ornaments personal. Each one a gift or a memento. My kiddos put them on last weekend and under the guidance and direction of oldest, they look pretty good. A few branches bundled with multiple ornaments remind me that a 4 year old was involved. I smile.

It’s perfect.

Now as I look around the room, the mess is a minor detail. I’m drawn to sit down and breathe in the peace and comfort of my home as we inch closer and closer to the height of the holiday season.
As of this moment, my girls will be giddy to dress up in their new holiday attire. They will be planning hair-do’s and making Christmas cards.
As of this moment, a birthday party is planned in the coming days for our Christmas baby. Now almost 11 and beautiful in every way, she’s constantly teaching me something new about life.
As of this moment, I can know with confidence that my 7 year old’s personality will liven-up every room she enters this season. Her humor and wit will become this year’s holiday folklore, just like every other year.
As of this moment, my baby boy is growing again. His face is changing and he’s snooping around the Christmas gifts and pushing his sisters to the edge of themselves. And he has me wrapped around his finger, as I desperately hold on to the little bit of little left in him.

The rain stops for now. I wonder if we’ll have snow for Christmas day. I remember looking out the window and seeing the snow coming down gently after Sophie was finally delivered and the room was calm.

All of this could change at any moment. None of it is guaranteed for my Christmas season. No matter how lovely or logical or how much it feels like it’s meant to be - there is no such thing as a sure thing.

That’s not the kind of world we live in.

My heater kicks on and I thank God, again, for a furnace and a warm house. There are so many people to pray for and I hadn’t even gotten to the cold and hungry in my prayers today.

I can’t keep up.

I know this is depressing, but it’s me taking note of the fact that plenty of people are struggling to embrace the Christmas joy that comes so easily to some of us. I’m looking around and I know people who are dreading Christmas morning. I can’t help but think of my mom 30 years ago when one week before Christmas, her dad was killed in a tragic accident.

How does one survive a Christmas like that?

And I know that Christmas was hell.
And I know theirs isn't the only tragedy this time of year.
And I know I need to just sit here in my messy living room next to my Christmas tree and say as many prayers as I can for the hurting hearts.
And I ask God to hold me tightly as we stumble through the next few weeks. 

Not being thankful enough. Not being mindful enough. Not fully understanding the gifts we will receive. 

Not staying focused on the one sure thing: Christ. 

I will try to breathe deep.

The rain blows against my window as the wind picks up.

I bow my head and pray for the tearful.

12 Messes that Made My Christmas "Perfect"

12. The weekend of Thanksgiving I was swamped.  But my girls (9 and 6) were ready to decorate.  So I let them.  It kept them busy for an afternoon.  Turned out they did a great job.  I love the way they put the greenery on the banister.  Plus my eldest came up with a cool place to put our stockings above the fireplace even though we don’t have a mantel yet.  I let go of the control and the results were great.  Praise the Lord.

11.  Snow. Lots of snow.  Well, up until like the day before Christmas.  While it lasted, it forced us to take our time when we left the house.  Made my kids smile.  Very festive.  These are good things. 

10.  When I finally got the tree up, it stood there for a week with ⅓ of the lights not working.  Finally got the tree lit and brought the ornaments up from the basement.  Eddie dumped most of them on the floor before I could get around to hanging them.  That day when the girls got home from school I told them to put the ornaments on the tree.  Results = room got picked up and tree got decorated.  Double score. 

9.  My siblings and I couldn’t make a decision about gifts this year.  Exchange?  Homemade gifts?  Nothing?  While this felt a bit stressful at first, it resulted in some [hilarious] phone conversations that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.  It allowed each of us to peer into one another’s lives and connect in a way we hadn’t in a while.  Thankful. 

8.  Somehow managed to neglect putting our nativity up.  Finally remembered like 4 days before Christmas.  This year the 3 year-old is being trusted to not destroy it, so for the first time in his life I put in down low.  This meant he could help set it up.  To my delight, he took great care with the pieces, crowding them all around baby Jesus, as they gaze upon him in wonder. 

7.  Watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas with my 3 year old almost daily.  I pulled it out at the beginning of the month and he took to it right away.  Since then he has watched it.  And then watched it again.  And again.  Good things about this:

a. Get to hear Linus orate Luke 2 in the middle of my day.
b. Eddie thinks the whole movie is hilarious, so I get a lot of 3 year-old laughter.  Always great.
c. He’s been saying “Oh Brother” just like Charlie Brown does about Sally, but about his own family.   

It cracks me up. 
d. The other day we were snuggling while watching it and I realized: these opportunities are here on a 

limited-time basis. 

6. I still had Christmas shopping to do 2 days before Christmas.  But if I didn’t, then I would miss out on the annual Finish-It-Up Shopping Trip with my Mom.  We usually spend most of a day and night scrambling to get done either the 22nd or the 23rd.  Typically there are a lot of laughs and we get some good deals.  This year was no different.  Loved it. 

5.  Never got around to putting together a Christmas card.  That was a bummer, but it’s not like I had an AMAZING picture ready to go.  We tried to do pictures of our family and/or our kids on at least 4 separate occasions.  Nothing really spoke to me.  Upshot: Probably saved a solid $50 and I’m not scrambling to use every “spare” minute to finish addressing envelopes. Plus I have some hilarious pictures of my kids. 

4.  For the first time in 4 Christmases, our family was healthy.  #4 on this list is not ironic at all.  It’s just straight up - I’m so glad no one in my immediate family vomited this year. 

3. I put about $150 worth of gifts on a credit card.  The great thing about this is that ALL THE OTHER GIFTS WERE PURCHASED WITH CASH.  This is a huge deal and, while I didn’t make it 100%, it was still groundbreaking for us.  This is the first year we really followed thru on the thing we’ve been talking about doing for the last 10 years.  I highly recommend it.  

2.  T’was the night after Christmas and my kids were up till 10.  Could be worse, but I know we will pay for it tomorrow.  The thing is, we got home, and even though my kids were exhausted, they started playing really nicely together with some of their new toys.  ALL 3 OF MY CHILDREN.  Talk about a Christmas miracle.  Husband and I looked at each other like, uh, do we break this up or just wait for the meltdowns to begin?  We opted for an escape into the bedroom with our computers, pajamas, and some uninterrupted conversation.  It was crazy!  Eventually the 3 year old came in rubbing his eyes, and I headed upstairs to get him tucked in.  The girls came up shortly after - WITHOUT ARGUING - and everyone was asleep within 20 minutes.  Tomorrow morning we may have a crabby crew, but it might be worth it for the peace on earth that existed in our house for 40 minutes tonight.  Perfect way to end our day.

1.  It’s been a really tough year.  But when relationships survive the havoc life wreaks (and pretty much all of my relationships have been sustained, by the Grace of God), those relationships come out stronger.  Those people emerge closer and more thankful for what they have sitting right in front of them.  Not for what might be waiting around the corner.  Not for what they wish for this New Year’s Eve.  They thank God for what they have and hug it tighter and love it more.  Thank you, Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Isaiah 42

1 “Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
    my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
    and he will bring justice to the nations.
² He will not shout or cry out,
    or raise his voice in the streets.
³ A bruised reed he will not break,
    and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;
⁴     he will not falter or be discouraged
till he establishes justice on earth.
    In his teaching the islands will put their hope.”

⁵ This is what God the Lord says—
the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out,
    who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it,
    who gives breath to its people,
    and life to those who walk on it:
⁶ “I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;
    I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
    to be a covenant for the people
    and a light for the Gentiles,
⁷ to open eyes that are blind,
    to free captives from prison
    and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.

⁸ “I am the Lord; that is my name!
    I will not yield my glory to another
    or my praise to idols.
⁹ See, the former things have taken place,
    and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
    I announce them to you.”

Perfect Christmas

Recently on Jill Savage’s blog, she admitted that while she would like a Christmas with the perfect decorations, and the Praise-the-Lord music playing and the Christmas story being read every night after dinner throughout Advent – that might not be realistic for her life today.

Whew!  Hearing that made me feel better.  What’s that FB post that I’ve seen?  Something like “There is no way you can be a perfect mother.  But there are about 1,000 ways you can be a good one.”

Ø     Taking advantage of those teachable moments when they arise, instead of forcing them when the young kids are tired and crabby.

Ø  Reading a Bible Story instead of Fancy Nancy, even if it isn’t the Christmas telling but your daughter’s favorite about David & Goliath that she insists you read for the 50^th time.

Ø  An extra hug.  A silly song.  A happy smile.  These are what lets our kids know they are loved.  Not the perfect house, the ornaments being just so, or the Christmas hymns on repeat.

If you’re a mom or a dad of youngins’ – helping-kids-feel-loved is your job this holiday season.  Enjoy.

Wagner Family Snapshot

I’d love to have gotten a family picture, but somehow I have a hard time convincing all 3 children to smile and stand in the same vicinity looking in the same direction at the same time.  You understand.

Speaking of our children, Christmas is kindof nuts for families, isn’t it?  I’ve always loved this time of year, and it’s a good thing, because the stress level does not seem to wane.  But despite all the lists and running around, Christmas demands that we stop and think for at least a few moments.  Whether it’s family laughter, or a Christmas Eve service hymn – I pray that you have at least one Christmas moment this year that forces you to step back and thank God.  This year I’ve spent a lot of time already, reflecting on how great God’s gifts are and how thankful I am for a faithful, loving God to whom we can turn when life here on earth gets really, really hard.    

Our first year in our house has come and gone.  There was rarely a day that would pass that I didn't get a little giddy about my new house.  It’s really something I never even dreamed of; giving proof once again to how much better God’s plan is than mine.  Here’s a little update about the family that lives in that house.

Edwin is hilarious these days.  Really finding his voice, being a hilarious 2 year-old who loves to laugh and wrestle.  He also loves to play ball, ball, ball. 

I asked Clare – what would you tell someone if they wanted to know about your brother?  She said, “Watch out for my brother, because sometimes he hugs too tall tight!” 

“What does too-tall-tight mean, Clare?”

“It means he comes up to you and starts hugging your neck tighter and tighter until you can’t breathe!”

Ah, yes, that is true.

Speaking of Clare – she has a hilarious way of explaining things all the time.  Or exaggerating.  Or being D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C.  I have got my work cut out for me with this one.    Too smart for her own good, she’s figured out just the right time to bat those big eyes and say something nice.  5 years-old, in kindergarten, and with a perspective like no one else, we treasure her wisdom.

Soph is in 3^rd grade and has really started to blossom as a student.  She appreciates a job well done and is a great question-asker.  She loves math but has actually done exceptionally well in English this year!  Crafting is definitely her thing, so she’s trying her hand at a variety of projects to see what she enjoys.  She has officially become a 4-Her, so we are looking forward to working on all the projects she has signed up for.  Like her mother, she is a planner.  Hopefully like her dad, she will be a do-er.  :)

This fall after the girls headed off to school, I started working part-time for my dad.  I like to think of my title as “Personal Assistant to Hofbauer Farms,” but Dad says it’s closer to “lackey.”  Either way, I’m enjoying it!  Yes, it’s manual labor: digging holes, stringing wire, slopping thru manure.  But it’s almost like a little escape from my regular job as mom and family manager.  I’m not making big decisions and I get to spend time outside.  (Needless to say, I’ve invested in some long underwear. ;)  I’m still selling Pampered Chef and being a mom and I’d really like to find more time to write.  Unfortunately I think that means less sleep.   

Business is good for Brad and Wagner Quality Construction, Inc.  They can barely keep up with the calls coming in!  What a blessing this enterprise has been for Brad and our family.  He still finds time to work on his demo car, the house, and play with the kids.  Not sure who was more excited about getting the basketball hoop put up this fall – Brad or the kids. :)

As the year’s end is rapidly upon us, we pray that your New Year is blessed with the Comfort of Family and Friends, the Joy of Life, and the Peace of Christ.

Godspeed,

The Wagner Family

Brad, Angela, Sophia, Clare, and Edwin

The shot right before Eddie runs off...

Look!

As much as I love photos and scrapbooking, I'm terrible at getting pictures posted online.  I just don't have the patience for it.  But let's start 2012 out with some pictures of our new life.  I am back - yearning to blog, excited for the new year and our new life in our new home.  We have new goals now, a new schedule and a new routine.  I'm excited about what this year will bring for us.

A lot of people have asked to see pictures of our house.  Remember - I have 3 kids one of whom feels it's his mission to undo everything I do.  So getting pictures of a clean room is a challenge.  Somehow, though, I've gathered a variety of pictures showing some of my favorite things about the house and our life here. 

One of my favorite things about my kitchen - there are a lot actually - is my pantry.  The right side, modeled here by Edwin, is food.  The left side (fixed shelves instead of the pull out) is for art supplies for my children.  The first week Eddie thought climbing in and out of the moving lower drawer was pretty awesome. 

And could he be more adorable here?  Yes, he needed a haircut.  But it only added to his charm.  :)  And while we're at it, here he is in another favorite activity that first week.  This is the view of the back of the cabinets under our countertop (and the back cabinet on the end). 

Turns out I did manage to snap a picture of our living room after I decorated for Christmas.  It gives an overview of the room that is decent.  The high ceiling makes the room look enormous here, but it's actually pretty cozy. 

The wall with the fireplace is the south wall.  The opposite living room wall is the open staircase, which you can see the start of behind Edwin here.  Mostly this is just a super cute picture of my boy so I had to include it.  :)

Standing below the staircase, this is what you see.  It's a ton of crazy angles that my husband figured out to make our house the way it is.  For the math-challenged like me, I can't imagine attempting this.  For my geometrically-minded husband, it was a success.  He did a beautiful job on trimming the stairway too.  It's not quite finished, but it still looks amazing. 

All the woodwork was stained by my mother-in-law, her sister, or me.  Eileen did the most for sure - all the baseboard, and it looks incredible.  Here is my laundry room door for a better idea of the style and the colors that flow through our house.  As you can see, the door is not trimmed yet.  That will happen eventually.  (Uppercase Living Expression courtesy Jenny DeSchepper.  Love her.  Love that stuff.  The door says THE LAUNDRY ROOM: get all the good dirt here. :)

Another favorite - we had this deep space next to the refrigerator where I wanted to keep my recipe books.  We had a cabinet put in place there so it would continue the flow of the cabinets.  I love this space!!

Right below that is my tupperware cabinet.  Organizing guru and good friend, Jan, came over to help me make it work.  Tupperware storage has always been impossible for me, but this system is actually working!!

In celebration of our new home, Sophie's birthday, and the Christmas season we opened our house up the week before Christmas and had a big party.  Here is Sophia in our kitchen.  (We have a formal dining room, but we currently have it set up as an office).  This is where we spend most of our time.  I love the big windows and all the light that comes in.  I had been worried it wouldn't be big enough for us, but it's perfect.

Every day I look around in amazement that we really live here now!  It's changed everything.  We are so thankful.  There is still plenty of work to be done on the house.  But it seems everyone I talk to feels the same way about their house.  Home building is only partially about the structure you live in.  As I was recently reminded by an inspiring woman, building a home is largely about the relationships it shelters.

The home building continues. 

Monday's Mom Moment

Christmas Gifts My Kids Got that Seem to Make the World A Better Place

(aka, Money Well Spent):

1. We finally got the girls some decent banks. So yesterday when I walked into Sophie’s room, I could see exactly where her birthday money was and that it was safe and contained. Nice feeling.

2. Have you played with Legos lately? They are amazing and my girls LOVE them. Sophie asked for them and I’m glad we were paying attention.

3. Sophie’s new coat was only $12.99 from Old Navy. It’s cute and fashionable and makes people smile.

4. Monster Hat from Mimi. Young and old are amused.

5. Strawberry Shortcake for Clare. My friends and cousins my age are immediately taken back to their own childhoods. Yes, she smells good.

6. Sophie saw a horse in Big R that you paint yourself. It was like $12. Santa brought it and she was thrilled. She did the first coat the other day and pretended that she was creating things for a museum. So continues her idea to be an artist for a museum when she grows up.

7. Books. Maybe not the immediate reaction you’re looking for, but the first thing they go dig out when it’s time for bed.

8. Warm fuzzy socks.

9. Chew toy for Edwin. (What else can I call it? J) He was all over that thing. Too bad he dropped it in the sawdust at the other house…

10. CD of music that cousin Amanda made for Sophie in the Wagner Extended Family Gift Exchange. The titles of the songs were written into a story she wrote about Sophie. Very cool and now we have one more CD in the van that the kids AND mom want to listen to!

What did your kids get that you are pleased with? It might be helpful for the rest of us when we’re looking for ideas next year… J

Happy Holidays!

Happy In-Between Week! It’s the week between Christmas and New Years. For some, this means back to work. But for others, it means a great time to catch up with friends or work on uncovering your home after the deluge of Christmas presents and piling-up of laundry. For us moms, it means when our kids complain that they are bored, we remind them for the hundredth time of the army of gifts waiting for their attention.

First of all, can we all agree that it should be illegal for Christmas to land on a weekend..!? It is not helpful when trying to schedule family gatherings and it means less time off work. This year, with 3 kids, and 3 Christmases in one day, it was especially ridiculous. Actually, our family did great considering the craziness, but it was a lot. I vote Christmas is always on a weekday. Unfortunately, next year will be worse when Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day will both be on the weekend. Bummer.

Well, I s’pose that’s one more thing I have no control over. We’ll have to get creative next year to make it less stressful. Which means those who cling to tradition will be annoyed. But this year it was so clear to me that I would like at least a half a day doing Christmas with just my husband and kids. No computer, no traveling – just us – there to enjoy each other and the joy that comes with Christmas morning. And I want to get together with all the family too, and have a relaxing Christmas celebration with them. Brad and I both come from big extended families. Not only are they big, but they are close. Like, we love each other. So we are still trying to do all these Christmases.

We will just do what we can do. It means tough choices sometimes. I’m starting to see the value in a good old summertime cookout where we get together and enjoy each other. Maybe it doesn’t have to be at Christmas.

Didn’t I just this season write about how Christmas changes, but God doesn’t? When God reminded me of this fact back in November, I did not know how different this Christmas would feel. Every year it IS different. But I need to embrace the reasons why – more beautiful healthy children (biggest reason), new houses, different foods, getting older. These things are good things! They are not reason for complaint – they are reason for celebration.

I hope you can look back on your Christmas weekend and find some good in the change. And I hope you can look ahead to a New Year weekend, and make a resolution to embrace it. Happy Holidays!

The Perfect Santa Gift

I don’t know if you can relate, but for the last 24 hours I’ve been a little stressed out about Christmas. To be clear, I LOVE Christmastime. I love the music, I love buying gifts, I even enjoy the crazy shopping. But I suppose that doesn’t mean there won’t be a little stress involved.

My current crisis is twofold – I spent too much money and I’m sick about it. That’s the first part. I thought I was doing ok. But then it got out of control. So here I am. Secondly, I’m not happy with Sophie’s Santa gift. And there’s nothing worse than spending too much money and not being happy with what the money was spent on.

So just yesterday (4 days before Christmas), Brad and I come up with the perfect gift for her – I mean the idea. But it’s too late in the game. I just don’t have time to go looking all over town for it, and they are more expensive than we realize. Yet I’m racking my brain trying to figure out how we can get our hands on something like this.

I’ve been spending a lot of energy on worrying about Sophie’s Santa gift. Maybe because she is so close to growing out of this. She is at this age where she is kindof too old for a lot of things, but not really old enough for others. And with her birthday so close to Christmas, it makes things a little more complicated.

It might be time for me to admit that I get a little obsessive about Christmas presents. I haven’t really faced up to the reality that I view gift giving as a kind of challenge to find ‘the perfect gift.’ That isn’t to say that this is what happens with everyone’s gift. Far from it. But when I come up with an idea for someone that I think is really good, I might go a little far obsessing over it. And it makes sense that I would do this with my kids.

And when I feel that I am completely clueless – as I do with Sophia – I get frustrated. I start throwing money at the problem and that is not really the solution.

Yesterday we took Sophie and some of her friends to a children’s museum for her birthday. On the way up I asked the girls what they want for Christmas. Sophie’s response was something that she had previously not mentioned, but something I should have figured out – horse stuff. She specifically mentioned ‘a horse that you paint.’

Ok. This would have been helpful a month ago. Later on it occurs to Brad and I that it would be super cool if we got her a barn or stable for her horses. Oh man, that would be great. And yes, it would have been great if we’d known and Brad could have BUILT HER ONE!!! Geez. We have 4 days.

So I was close to breaking down last night over this. (It sounds ridiculous, as I listen to myself now.) I mean, I’m sure it’s everything... and this is just the last straw. The money, too much running, 3 kids – and lets face it: the pressure put on MOMS to make Christmas happen for their family.

This morning Brad calls me and says he’s at Big R. “They have the horse. They have one left. Should I get it? It’s $12.99.” I can’t help but laugh a little. $12.99. Will $12.99 bring as much happiness as I suspect it will? “Yes, get it. Please, get it. And look for barns while you’re there.”

After we get off the phone I think, What if Sophie’s Santa gift is only $12.99? It probably doesn’t matter to her. It probably doesn’t matter to her whether it’s more or less than I spent on Clare. As I walk thru the living room and glance over at our small but happy Christmas tree, all lit up with presents surrounding it… my kids playing on the floor… Sophie singing a made up Christmas song in innocence – it probably doesn’t matter. The magic isn’t about how much. In fact, it isn’t even about whether it’s the perfect gift. She won’t know the difference whether we find her a barn or not. She has mentioned many things that she would like to have, and she will be getting most of them from us or grandmas.

**

The other day Sophie and were talking about how we are going to fit in all our Christmases. When will we open our gifts?, what time will we go to Mimi’s? - stuff like that. We started reminiscing about what we’ve done in the past. “I hope we have a big snow storm and we have to go to Mimi’s Christmas Eve like one year,” she says. “Remember when we got up early and had breakfast and opened our presents with Daddy and then went to Mimi’s? That was fun too…” It wasn’t about the gifts. It wasn’t about the surprise. It was about us. It was about people. Even for my kids.

I opened up Jill’s blog this morning – Jill Savage from Hearts-at Home. Her message was simply sharing a piece of God’s word. Here it is.

“God’s miracles are staggering, His wonders are surprising. His kingdom lasts and lasts, His sovereign rule goes on forever.”
Daniel 4:3 The Message

God’s miracles… His kingdom… His rule. While my little problems can easily run my world, there is a big God that could be running it instead. And this is His big celebration.

It’s about what we make it about. What am I focused on? There’s a lot of pressure on us Moms to make Christmas happen for our families. I’m going to start praying that I can make Christmas about love and people, for my kids, this year. I’m going to stop freaking out about this, and take a chill pill. It’s fine. I’ll figure this out. I’ll get everything done that has to get done. And I’ll make a point to enjoy the time we will spend together… perfect gifts, or not.

Monday's Mom Moment

Realizations the Weekend Before Christmas

1. Sophie is now 7. Which means she is almost too old for much of the child "technology" - like Leap Frog games. She is on the edge of all categories and I have no idea what Santa can bring her that will really be good.

2. Clare would be happy with almost anything in the store.

3. Edwin is an amazing baby that was perfectly happy all day shopping with me, as long as I paid a little attention to him.

4. Brad gets the same results that I do when he stays home all day long with the girls.

5. When I think back to Christmases growing up, I don't remember the gifts from Santa as much as I remember our Christmas tree, the music we listened to, and all the laughing.

6. I want that for my kids.

7. I spent too much. But I also could have spent way more.

8. I can't wait to be done shopping.

9. If you're patient and try to be positive, the week-before-Christmas-shopping-experience can be decent.

10. Also, if you spend 2 hours in Meijer on Sunday afternoon while everyone else is doing their running around, you miss the worst of it.

11. I love Christmas music.

12. I ONLY HAVE 41/2 DAYS!!

The Same God

Sometimes it’s not about doing. It’s about enjoying. It’s about living in the moment – in the Savior’s arms. It’s about relishing the fact that Faith Alone is what saves. It’s about holding on to the truths about our God. Because no matter how much Christmas seems different this year – way earlier, more expensive, too many places to go – our God NEVER changes. He is the same God that sent us his son as that tiny baby over 2,000 years ago.

Thanksgiving weekend I was honored to present a devotion to a group of women that gathered at our church for our first annual Advent by Candlelight. My good friend Christine shared this idea with us (and planned and coordinated it) and it goes something like this: The Sunday night of Thanksgiving, towards the beginning of Advent, the women gather together for a night of reflection and refreshment. A variety of women in the church are asked to “host” a table, which means they can decorate it however they like, bring a dessert to share, and make nice with the guests. J Some live music by the talent we have locally, a devotion, and some Christmas carols make the night complete. You can see how a church can personalize a night like this. You can also see how this can get pretty girly. But it’s good. The Christmas season demands a lot from women, and it makes sense for us to get together and lift one another up.

At first I was tempted to make my devotion a practical list of to-do’s. We ARE really busy. How can we keep our focus on Jesus during this season? But thankfully, Christine reminded me that it doesn’t always have to be about a checklist. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be. It can just be a night to enjoy. A night to be filled up. And then we can leave and hopefully our cup will be overflowing and it will help us get thru the next few weeks.

Every little bit helps.

So the Holy Spirit directed me in this way – not a to-do list. Just a solid couple of minutes in the word and some reflection on that. I want to share the devotion with you, and maybe God can use it for you too. He certainly spoke to me. And I am so honored that He did.

The devotion is based on the following scripture:

I Samuel 1:3-17, 2:1-10

Luke 1:26-38

It’s CHRISTMASTIME!!

I’ve always loved Christmas. I’m blessed to have grown up with wonderful Christmases. But as I’ve grown older and become a mother to 3 children, Christmas has changed a lot. As my brothers and brothers-in-law have married and they have families of their own.. Christmas continues to change.

Because things like the holidays don’t stay the same, it can be a difficult time of year for people. So often we wish we could go back to when Christmas was pure and holy. To a time in our childhood when it was simple and comforting.

As adults, as women during this season, we can sometimes get awfully distracted by the long lines and long lists. By the family calendar and the family drama. It’s easy for us to let all of this shadow the joy that should be had in these few weeks in December.

I’m so blessed to have friends who keep me positive. They get excited about things like Black Friday and Christmas tree decorating! They share their excitement about what they found for their daughter or their husband or their mom. They CELEBRATE the fabulous deal they found on that special gift. And they sing Christmas songs while making the 30^th dozen of Christmas cookies.

Thank goodness for women who keep me positive and help me to keep the joy in Christmastime. Christmas HAS changed a lot, but our GOD – whose season this really is – does NOT change. And if there is anything we can focus on this season, anything we want to try to remember in the midst of the chaos – that is it. He is the same God that He WAS, is NOW, and will be forever.

***

Way back in the Old Testament, I Samuel starts off with the story of Hannah. She desperately wanted a child... and it didn’t help that the OTHER wife – Peninnah – had children and would frequently throw this in the face of Hannah. Eventually, her grief led her to “pour out her soul to the Lord.”

She must have looked like a wreck. She had been crying and hadn’t been eating and she finally just broke down and laid it all before HIM – at the feet of her Lord. We know she must have looked awful, because Eli thought she was drunk, the way her mouth was moving... but she wasn’t actually saying anything... and she obviously wasn’t paying attention to anything other than her despair and her desperate cry for help.

After explaining her situation to Eli, he comforts her with “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”

Many of us can relate to Hannah’s grief, to her desperation. Many of us have felt the pain of emptiness one way or another, until finally we break down before our God and get honest with Him about our desires and our hurt.

He IS listening.

He was listening to Hannah.

Chapter 1, verse 24: “After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a 3 year old bull, and ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. When they had slaughtered the bull, they brought the boy to Eli, and she said to Eli, ‘As surely as you live, my Lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to the Lord.”

He was listening to Hannah.

Now, let’s be clear about something. I suspect – that when Hannah was dreaming of having a family, I doubt this was her vision. I’ll bet when she daydreamed about having a child, she had plans to watch her children grow – from a front row seat. I suspect she’d planned to nurture and feed and comfort her children as they grew into young adults and went off into the world. Not visit them once a year.

I’ll be this wasn’t really the sort of thing Hannah had in mind for herself when she married – years of an empty womb; painful words from the women in her household; and desperate prayers to her God.

But after all of this, and then GIVING birth to her baby boy and watching him grow – knowing she will fulfill her promise to her God – her perspective has changed.

Nothing is the same as it was. And she sees things differently now. We know this because of her song of praise.

Hannah’s prayer reflects this new perspective – she has a perspective focused on God. It isn’t about her anymore, or her precious son – it’s about the God that has lifted her up, from a place of disgrace to a place of honor. When she talks about the arrogant, she is talking about Peninnah – but she’s giving it to God. She understands that God works in mysterious ways, often not as we expect. And in fact, using what seems bad, for good. Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.”

Her prayer’s focus, is that God is ultimately the one in charge. But it also reflects that He is NOT a DISTANT God ruling from afar. But He is hands-on – “raising the poor from the dust and lifting the needy from the ash heap.” This same God, who provides for the humble, is the ultimate authority... and her last verse prophetically looks ahead to his ultimate plan: This God, “He will give strength to His king and exalt the horn of His anointed.”

***

Fast forward nearly 1100 years. It has been almost 430 years since the last word from God had been spoken by an Old Testament prophet.

There’s a young girl, who is planning a wedding.

And the last thing she needs is a baby.

But an angel comes to see her and says, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you!”

And Mary is scared and confused right from the start and thinks ‘and what kind of greeting might that be?’

She seems suspicious.

So the angel explains that she should not be afraid – that the Lord has found favor with her, and she will give birth to a child, to whom God will give the throne of David.

Somehow – by the grace of God, surely – Mary takes it all in and says “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be as you have said.”

She is an obedient girl.

And she probably quickly realizes, the control is not in her hands.

Ever since I started paying attention, I have been intrigued with how Mary handles all of this. Maybe because she is a woman, like us. Maybe because I like character development.

What must she be thinking?

This had to seem crazy to her.

But she heard what he said – her son was to rule over the house of Jacob forever. He will be great.. He will be called the Son of the Most High.

Surely seeking some degree of reality, she quickly heads out to see Elizabeth. All these things must be rushing around in her head on the way there. She’s trying to make sense of it. Could it be real? Is this really happening to me?

She finally arrives, and greets Elizabeth.

And before another word can be said, Elizabeth is filled with the Holy Spirit and even the child within her responds with praise. Elizabeth is much older than Mary and more than likely someone she can trust. Luke 1:6 says both Elizabeth and her husband were upright in the sight of God.

So she comes in and immediately Elizabeth responds, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!”

Mary’s response must have been relief and joy. Oh, good – someone who knows!! Someone who won’t think I’m crazy! Wait! Someone to reaffirm what the angel said!

Mary is overcome with comfort in Elizabeth’s words and suddenly realizes what all this means.

And Mary said,

“My soul glorifies the lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed,

for the Mighty One has done great things for me – holy is His name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,

from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones, but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things, but has sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers.”

This is the same God that comforted Hannah..

This is the same God that kept Rahab safe from the Israelites..

That comforted Naomi when she lost her husband and both of her sons..

And led Ruth to a new land, a new husband, and a place in the line of the chosen one.

This is the same God whose touch healed the crippled and the blind

men, women, and children

who dared to believe in Him.

The same God who gives living water to the thirsting woman at the well..

Who teaches Mary and Martha

and comforts them.

Who stands before a weeping Mary Magdalene

and sends her off to share the good news of his Resurrection, of His Life.

This same God is waiting for us to turn to Him.. His arms open wide, welcoming us with all of our faults, with all of our questions, with all of our sin.

He’s listening when we turn to him and pray for Joy, in the midst of chaos, when we are hungry, and seek to be filled with good things.

When we are feeling lonely

or overwhelmed..

Because we have been waiting in line for hours in Target

or we are searching for a joyful heart because we were fighting traffic all day long,

or desperate for patience as we try to get our 3 children to sit still for just one decent Christmas card picture! J

This is the same God,

who is listening,

answering,

comforting,

LOVING

us this Christmas

as He has so many Christmases before.

Matthew 1:23

“Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call him name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.”